I find it an ugly aberration of justice that some people have to sacrifice so much for their optimum career, to wade through stifling years of drudgery- while fortune favours others, and their working dream fuses with them early in life. I'm not embittered towards the latter, though i probably will be, when the time comes.
This train of thought blossomed from contemplating how wonderful it must have been for groups like Monty Python and Black Adder; groups which just sprang into life in university, born of friendship, a shared sense of humour and pure wit. Ah, the lucky bastards.
20090215
The doctor surveyed his patient on the other side of the broad mahogany table. A crisp notepad lay in front of him, spidered in a delicate scrawl. A steady tick resounded sharply against the blankness of the interior. It was shaped as a duck- a new installment- the Upper offices hadn't noticed it yet, and the doctor intended to reap all the benefits of his item of idiosyncratic indecency in the meantime. He sighed.
"Kate" he began. "I sympathise with your situation."
"Do you doctor?"
"Yes i do."
Kate chewed her lip.
The doctor had a sudden urge to reach across and grasp the hand of the unfortunate soul who sat across from him. Fate was cruel- the longer he stayed in his profession, the more he realised that. He denied himself the urge however, recalling with a wince the last time he had spontaneously expressed physical empathy. The nasty business had had him in court for weeks. The front cover of times, 2002, flashed through his mind- Alleged Homosexual Assault By Psychiatrist.
"Kate, I'm afraid you have a very serious condition. The term for it is nowadays flung about a lot, and because of that it has absorbed many different meanings." He leaned forward. "But in a psychiatrists phrase book, this condition is very severe indeed, and..." he paused, "near incurable."
Kate looked on the verge of tears.
"There are ways," he continued hurriedly, "to alleviate it however, and my dear, for your own sake, i implore you to follow them to the letter, to the letter, so you may have a chance to lead the a life without everpresent pain and hardship." Why Lord, he thought, why dost thou torment thy people? But he would have to say it. He must tell her. Just get it over with.
"The condition," he said, his heart breaking, "is called idiocy."
Damn ball with it's damn loud music making me dance in the most damnable way possible. I might as well have been on drugs. In fact, i rather wish i was, because then i'd be able to blame it on narcotics rather than my own permanently deranged self.
"Kate" he began. "I sympathise with your situation."
"Do you doctor?"
"Yes i do."
Kate chewed her lip.
The doctor had a sudden urge to reach across and grasp the hand of the unfortunate soul who sat across from him. Fate was cruel- the longer he stayed in his profession, the more he realised that. He denied himself the urge however, recalling with a wince the last time he had spontaneously expressed physical empathy. The nasty business had had him in court for weeks. The front cover of times, 2002, flashed through his mind- Alleged Homosexual Assault By Psychiatrist.
"Kate, I'm afraid you have a very serious condition. The term for it is nowadays flung about a lot, and because of that it has absorbed many different meanings." He leaned forward. "But in a psychiatrists phrase book, this condition is very severe indeed, and..." he paused, "near incurable."
Kate looked on the verge of tears.
"There are ways," he continued hurriedly, "to alleviate it however, and my dear, for your own sake, i implore you to follow them to the letter, to the letter, so you may have a chance to lead the a life without everpresent pain and hardship." Why Lord, he thought, why dost thou torment thy people? But he would have to say it. He must tell her. Just get it over with.
"The condition," he said, his heart breaking, "is called idiocy."
Damn ball with it's damn loud music making me dance in the most damnable way possible. I might as well have been on drugs. In fact, i rather wish i was, because then i'd be able to blame it on narcotics rather than my own permanently deranged self.
20090203
Oh lord, this is agony. And to think yesterday i was lounging in front of the television, watching an extremely dull program about god knows what and enjoying myself thoroughly. Well, i wasn't really, but the comparison makes the memory bliss. But there is no past, there is only present and future. I've got to tell myself that, otherwise i may submit pathetically to temptation.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to submit to it.
Oscar Wilde said that...or at least something like it, probably more elegantly elocuted.
Dammit, i was going to say something interesting, but it drifted away in the brief interim of typing, where i travelled to the online dictionary to consolidate that 'elocuted' is an actual word. ..oh dear.
i guess that's just too bad.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to submit to it.
Oscar Wilde said that...or at least something like it, probably more elegantly elocuted.
Dammit, i was going to say something interesting, but it drifted away in the brief interim of typing, where i travelled to the online dictionary to consolidate that 'elocuted' is an actual word. ..oh dear.
i guess that's just too bad.
20090128
Bizarre Phobias (well, weirder than you average phobia anyway)
Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Amathophobia- Fear of dust.
Angrophobia - Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Apeirophobia- Fear of infinity.
Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor.
Botanophobia- Fear of plants.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Gnosiophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (The doctor that coined this term must have been having a laugh. Cruel really. Imagine the afflicted trying to tell their psychiatrist what condition they had. They'd end up in the emergency unit)
Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.
[compilation thanks to http://phobialist.com/ ]
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
Amathophobia- Fear of dust.
Angrophobia - Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Apeirophobia- Fear of infinity.
Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor.
Botanophobia- Fear of plants.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.
Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
Gnosiophobia- Fear of knowledge.
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (The doctor that coined this term must have been having a laugh. Cruel really. Imagine the afflicted trying to tell their psychiatrist what condition they had. They'd end up in the emergency unit)
Kyphophobia- Fear of stooping.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat.
[compilation thanks to http://phobialist.com/ ]
20090127
When i'm in one of my torpid states - the eyes glaze over, the hand rises up to scratch the nose absent-mindedly and the face relaxes into a post-stroke droop- an unwanted memory often seizes its chance and emerges from the whirling vortex to seize a sizable hunk of ego. One moment I'll be idly wondering who would win in a good old-fashioned fist fight between Bush and a porcipine (not that they have fists) and then suddenly *high pitched yelp of pain* an ignominous slice of self-history flies towards my face, claws unsheathed. Like a segment of conversation, for example, where I expose once again your ignorance, or some humiliating event me, star of the farce.
The memory that struck me five minutes ago?
Me. Adventure World. Water slides. Single tube. Whirlpool. Stuck. Five Minutes. Flailing desperately. Heaving. Collapsing. And there it is. You see it. That last shred of pride floating away with the breeze, passing out of view as it enters the gaping eye socket of the giant skull.
I have just unwrapped a parcel from my grandparents. A set of 'celtic' styled jewellery, for the ball, they wrote dogmatically on the card. I am grateful, i am truly very grateful indeed. The bracelet, necklace and earrings are lovely decorative ornaments, and i am certain that when they look at the pictures (as ordered) they will find their gifts glinting at the throat, wrist and ears.
Gah..! ball...won't...go away! *makes a vain attempt to hold back time by rearranging the household clocks as far away as her as possible*
The memory that struck me five minutes ago?
Me. Adventure World. Water slides. Single tube. Whirlpool. Stuck. Five Minutes. Flailing desperately. Heaving. Collapsing. And there it is. You see it. That last shred of pride floating away with the breeze, passing out of view as it enters the gaping eye socket of the giant skull.
I have just unwrapped a parcel from my grandparents. A set of 'celtic' styled jewellery, for the ball, they wrote dogmatically on the card. I am grateful, i am truly very grateful indeed. The bracelet, necklace and earrings are lovely decorative ornaments, and i am certain that when they look at the pictures (as ordered) they will find their gifts glinting at the throat, wrist and ears.
Gah..! ball...won't...go away! *makes a vain attempt to hold back time by rearranging the household clocks as far away as her as possible*
20090124
20090120
Ah, Stephen Fry.
I say the name like i would an old friend, despite the fact i have only discovered his genius person this last week. Well, spit it out, who is he? I hear you ask. Stephen Fry is, to use an apt descriptive quote a 'veritable renaissance man'- involving himself in arts all across the cultural spectrum. He has pulled up the pantaloons as a dramatist, authoured numerous novels, been the co-creator of a hilarious comedy series, hosted a wonderfully offbeat quiz show AND- remarkably riding the technological wave- has his own highly entertaining 'podgrams'.
Back to the hilarious comedy series. I doubt you would have heard of it, but perhaps your parents have- A Bit of Fry and Laurie. The latter, first name Hugh, would perhaps be more familiar to you as his character of House.
Ah, laurie, laurie. How could you desert BBC comedy and instead fornicate with the more dubious genre of a ten drama? I feel somewhat betrayed. That commercial station has sodomised him, converted him, or at least his image. He may be more prominent in the public's eye, but since when has that social organ been credited any real taste?
While i am disappointed with the guy, i have reached some new moral depth of my soul in being able to forgive him. I am able to grant that no other offers may have sprung up, and so, grappling to sustain a successful career and earn a few dollars, he turned (it would have to be reluctantly for me to feel a jot of sympathy), no he dragged himself to that interview. And the only reason he got the part of the saturnine House was because he was feeling so gloomy, petulant and irascible at the time. And his character of the man is stellar in itself because he is innately cantankerous at being awarded the role after all.
Anyway, back to Fry.
He is, in my opinion, a literary genius; the kind of rare witty intellectual that i have never before witnessed in my life. One of the things i admire most about him is his clarity and depth and imagination when speaking. There is always life in his words. Some might classify him as a bit of a periphrastic highbrow. I'll say it once, and once only. The are wrong. On this issue there is no leniency in my breast, and i simply cannot permit anything but an opinion that is completely adjacent to my own. At least not an opinion spoken within my hearing range.
The following are two of my favourite clips watched thus far from 'qi', his quiz show:
I say the name like i would an old friend, despite the fact i have only discovered his genius person this last week. Well, spit it out, who is he? I hear you ask. Stephen Fry is, to use an apt descriptive quote a 'veritable renaissance man'- involving himself in arts all across the cultural spectrum. He has pulled up the pantaloons as a dramatist, authoured numerous novels, been the co-creator of a hilarious comedy series, hosted a wonderfully offbeat quiz show AND- remarkably riding the technological wave- has his own highly entertaining 'podgrams'.
Back to the hilarious comedy series. I doubt you would have heard of it, but perhaps your parents have- A Bit of Fry and Laurie. The latter, first name Hugh, would perhaps be more familiar to you as his character of House.
Ah, laurie, laurie. How could you desert BBC comedy and instead fornicate with the more dubious genre of a ten drama? I feel somewhat betrayed. That commercial station has sodomised him, converted him, or at least his image. He may be more prominent in the public's eye, but since when has that social organ been credited any real taste?
While i am disappointed with the guy, i have reached some new moral depth of my soul in being able to forgive him. I am able to grant that no other offers may have sprung up, and so, grappling to sustain a successful career and earn a few dollars, he turned (it would have to be reluctantly for me to feel a jot of sympathy), no he dragged himself to that interview. And the only reason he got the part of the saturnine House was because he was feeling so gloomy, petulant and irascible at the time. And his character of the man is stellar in itself because he is innately cantankerous at being awarded the role after all.
Anyway, back to Fry.
He is, in my opinion, a literary genius; the kind of rare witty intellectual that i have never before witnessed in my life. One of the things i admire most about him is his clarity and depth and imagination when speaking. There is always life in his words. Some might classify him as a bit of a periphrastic highbrow. I'll say it once, and once only. The are wrong. On this issue there is no leniency in my breast, and i simply cannot permit anything but an opinion that is completely adjacent to my own. At least not an opinion spoken within my hearing range.
The following are two of my favourite clips watched thus far from 'qi', his quiz show:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=13VEonU3hWU
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=A2Ma7bZ2dH0
By the way, you should download the perfume soundtrack. It's excellent.
I circumnavigated Monger Lake today. Rather proud really. I've been meaning to do that every since the holidays began, but the very idea rather daunted me; or at least the idea that i would collapse from sheer unfitness halfway through and some casual stroller would find me heaving on the ground like a beached whale and be forced to call an ambulance. All in all, the plan did seem to be fraught with physiological danger. But something caught me this afternoon, some ambitious whim, and as soon as i was out the door, my feet wouldn't stop until they had completed the circuit and had returned to the doorstep. No, i lie. I did stop for a while to listen to an enrapturing segment of Fry's podgram, but i don't suppose it's of any consequence. You need the odd embellishment here and there. I have ruined it by my confession, but don't worry, this blog is filled with countless other minor embellishments and exaggerations.
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