i am
starting to learn
that you only have to believe something
to be something
that to believe,
is thus to be
we are unconscious cunning manipulators
of ourselves
and therefore know not if what we apportion to character
was previously,
and sometimes immediately
true.
but-
when we cross that threshold
that holds us so resignedly
so forcefully
to all our qualities;
and add, anew-
well.
who are we to tell ourselves any different
from this freshness?
after all
we are so aware
of ourselves...
aren't we?
Yet-
if we are ever deceived-
then can it be real?
Is it a lie?
Happy, or sad,
such changings can exist as both.
It would be nice to think it so
It would be nice
to believe
20080430
20080428
meaningless gaff
So, i know you have been absolutely WRITHING with anticipation to learn how i have used up my last day of freedom (pah haha).
You have no idea how free i felt today. Because in my mind- there was no expectation. It's like; an extra day. I did no work. No study. Did not think of tomorrow. God, do you know how wonderful that is? blimey. It was like the old days. Like when i was five and i could look around and see a world just waiting to be explored...to be SEEN. Do you know what I mean? i hardly do.
But it was good. Yeah, there was a lot of love in my heart today, and i got to wondering (chuckling to myself on the train) how strangers would react if i just went up to them and hugged them. There was a show in tv once, which showed some of the best hits on youtube...one was a guy in another country who went to the city every day, took out a sign that said 'free hugs' and waited. And people, lots of people, actually, just went up to him and he hugged them. Isn't that so cute? Would you go up? Would I?
I went to see the year 12 'Perspectives' at the art gallery today. I was awestruck. So much talent! So beautiful! Gosh... Only one MLC girl got in though- Melissa Gunner, i think. twas good.
I am a little annoyed at our art programme here at MLC. Can you believe that in all my years, we have not done ONE painting with oils??????? And oils, if you are unaware, are just about the most POPULAR medium in the art world. All we do is draw with pencil and pastel. Which is all well and good......but we need to LEARN THE TECHNIQUES MAN. I mean, i hardly know HOW- and then you see what is expected of us next year...and you're like, yikes.
no, i don't want to think about next year.
Well, having sufficietly depressed myself, i am going to attempt to revive my spirits by employing myself in some more crosswords. I always seem to follow a pattern here, don't I, blogging? starting off happy chappy, and then sinking into a bottomless ooze of wet-toadiness.
QUOTES OF THE DAY: (from some random site)
Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
You have no idea how free i felt today. Because in my mind- there was no expectation. It's like; an extra day. I did no work. No study. Did not think of tomorrow. God, do you know how wonderful that is? blimey. It was like the old days. Like when i was five and i could look around and see a world just waiting to be explored...to be SEEN. Do you know what I mean? i hardly do.
But it was good. Yeah, there was a lot of love in my heart today, and i got to wondering (chuckling to myself on the train) how strangers would react if i just went up to them and hugged them. There was a show in tv once, which showed some of the best hits on youtube...one was a guy in another country who went to the city every day, took out a sign that said 'free hugs' and waited. And people, lots of people, actually, just went up to him and he hugged them. Isn't that so cute? Would you go up? Would I?
I went to see the year 12 'Perspectives' at the art gallery today. I was awestruck. So much talent! So beautiful! Gosh... Only one MLC girl got in though- Melissa Gunner, i think. twas good.
I am a little annoyed at our art programme here at MLC. Can you believe that in all my years, we have not done ONE painting with oils??????? And oils, if you are unaware, are just about the most POPULAR medium in the art world. All we do is draw with pencil and pastel. Which is all well and good......but we need to LEARN THE TECHNIQUES MAN. I mean, i hardly know HOW- and then you see what is expected of us next year...and you're like, yikes.
no, i don't want to think about next year.
Well, having sufficietly depressed myself, i am going to attempt to revive my spirits by employing myself in some more crosswords. I always seem to follow a pattern here, don't I, blogging? starting off happy chappy, and then sinking into a bottomless ooze of wet-toadiness.
QUOTES OF THE DAY: (from some random site)
Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
can it be possible? can my hopes be so fulfilled?
LIFE IS SO GODDAMM GOOD.
Last night, i was terribly annoyed at everything because there was school the next day. I'm serious. I clenched my jaw when mum clattered the plates while washing up, i felt like punching the director of 'Robin Hood' when Maid Marion died, and i sat huddled and moody before the tv screen for almost the whole night. AND this grumpiness certainly did not abate when mum cajoled gleefully "school! tests! exams!" giggling to herself. grrrrrrr. who does that?
And when i went to bed, i GOT SOOOO ANNOYED. I had to put my doova in a new sheet cover, and it. just. wouldn't. go. in. and i was clenching my jaw so hard my back teeth moved into the gums by 2 milimetres, and i was punching it and flapping it about angrily. HAHAHAHHA
This morning i was more subdued to my fate. I got up at my alarm at 6:30, trailed into the kitchen, fed the cats and the dog, pulled out "sense and sensibility" and engaged myself in Mr. Willoughby and Marianne while crunching on cornflakes. At 7:15 i went to my room, gloomily swung open the cupboard and pulled out the dreaded green blouse and skirt. Dressed, i wandered out to the front room, where my mum was pondering over a crossword.
"kate" she said, and i turned around.
"what?"
"School doesn't start til tomorrow."
"You're joking"
"I'm not"
"You're pulling my leg"
"No, really. It doesn't start til tomorrow."
Still i didn't believe her, feeling it too dangerous to hope, and feeling annoyed that she should try and deceive me on so sensitive a subject.
"I don't believe you" said I
"I'm serious! I said to dad this morning 'i'll wait until she's dressed and surprise her'"
...
YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!
exctasy (if you didn't discern from the previous line) prevailed.
ok, kate!!!! don't waste it!!!!! For once you have the advantage of regretting how much you haven't appreciated the time you've been given to find out YOU HAVE ONE LAST CHANCE.
:)
QUOTES OF THE DAY: Black Books
Bernard: [describing his friends Gerald and Sarah] And she's an interior designer, she's on that show "Pet Surprise".
Manny: Haven't heard of it.
Bernard: You know, you know. They take the dog out for a walk, he thinks it's a normal walk and when he gets back the kennels got a patio and french doors!
Manny: Ah yeah...
Bernard: And he's like, "Oh my god!"
Fran: Do you know that in Tibet when they want something they give something away? Bernard: Do they? That must be why they're such a dominant global power.
Bernard: What other grown man cuts soldiers for his runny egg and then divides them into rank?
Manny: Just a bit of fun.
Bernard: You won't mind if I eat this one?
Manny : Don't touch the colonel... It'll upset the rest of the men.
Last night, i was terribly annoyed at everything because there was school the next day. I'm serious. I clenched my jaw when mum clattered the plates while washing up, i felt like punching the director of 'Robin Hood' when Maid Marion died, and i sat huddled and moody before the tv screen for almost the whole night. AND this grumpiness certainly did not abate when mum cajoled gleefully "school! tests! exams!" giggling to herself. grrrrrrr. who does that?
And when i went to bed, i GOT SOOOO ANNOYED. I had to put my doova in a new sheet cover, and it. just. wouldn't. go. in. and i was clenching my jaw so hard my back teeth moved into the gums by 2 milimetres, and i was punching it and flapping it about angrily. HAHAHAHHA
This morning i was more subdued to my fate. I got up at my alarm at 6:30, trailed into the kitchen, fed the cats and the dog, pulled out "sense and sensibility" and engaged myself in Mr. Willoughby and Marianne while crunching on cornflakes. At 7:15 i went to my room, gloomily swung open the cupboard and pulled out the dreaded green blouse and skirt. Dressed, i wandered out to the front room, where my mum was pondering over a crossword.
"kate" she said, and i turned around.
"what?"
"School doesn't start til tomorrow."
"You're joking"
"I'm not"
"You're pulling my leg"
"No, really. It doesn't start til tomorrow."
Still i didn't believe her, feeling it too dangerous to hope, and feeling annoyed that she should try and deceive me on so sensitive a subject.
"I don't believe you" said I
"I'm serious! I said to dad this morning 'i'll wait until she's dressed and surprise her'"
...
YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!!!
exctasy (if you didn't discern from the previous line) prevailed.
ok, kate!!!! don't waste it!!!!! For once you have the advantage of regretting how much you haven't appreciated the time you've been given to find out YOU HAVE ONE LAST CHANCE.
:)
QUOTES OF THE DAY: Black Books
Bernard: [describing his friends Gerald and Sarah] And she's an interior designer, she's on that show "Pet Surprise".
Manny: Haven't heard of it.
Bernard: You know, you know. They take the dog out for a walk, he thinks it's a normal walk and when he gets back the kennels got a patio and french doors!
Manny: Ah yeah...
Bernard: And he's like, "Oh my god!"
Fran: Do you know that in Tibet when they want something they give something away? Bernard: Do they? That must be why they're such a dominant global power.
Bernard: What other grown man cuts soldiers for his runny egg and then divides them into rank?
Manny: Just a bit of fun.
Bernard: You won't mind if I eat this one?
Manny : Don't touch the colonel... It'll upset the rest of the men.
20080427
cryptics, cubism...why?, exclamation marks, and leetle flovvas
I have come, bloggie, to complain. Yes m’dear, this is the most excellent vehicle for grievance-spewing of every kind possible. Can you see it now? Those annoying advertisements bopping up and down for your attention above and besde your hotmail.
a blank box. Words appear.
"are you sick and tired of everything?
have your friends and relations become annoyed by your constant bemoanings of them?
Do you need an outlet for your swamp of passion, emotion, anger?
Well...
WE HAVE AN ANSWER!
Technology! Technology! Technology! [flashing]
BLOG.
[in small print] it will save your life.
Anyway, today is a prime time for grumbling, as it is, sadly, the final chapter in my period of happiness for the next 11 weeks. The last day of holidays.
Well, I should not be so dramatic. I’m sure there will be happiness in the following months, and it is a laughable matter that these holidays have been a ball- as I predicted, they were filled up mostly with ‘attempts at study’. Which mean: I start the day as a slug, begin work at around 2:00pm, give up at 3, and spend the rest of my hours doing cryptic crosswords.
I have it now beside me: they are really quite entertaining. Here: crunch on one.
Times change! Competent AND worthy of great respect? (9)
Look at the bottom for the answer. They’re so clever- when you get one (or, alternatively, when you yield and guiltily peer at the back for the answer) you’re like OH! That’s so smart!
What will be my next subject for attack? hmm. ah yes. Art. For the past three days (yes, i've left it a little late) i have been exerting myself most strenuously to an art project which is due at the start of term. On the first, i wasted, WASTED around four hours designing a cubist background. Slopping paint everywhere, i fought furiously with brush and splodges of black, brown, white to create something........which, you idiot, kate, was eventually going to be pretty much completely covered up anyway. Dimwit. 'background', kate, 'background.' nobody gives a stuff about the background.
mmm. i had sushi last night. it was nice. ooh, ooh, WHILE watching Black Books. Man, that series is a hoot [
(low growl) this is so annoying. My fingers are so close to dropping off from the cold, and yet, when i put my gloves on, i make about ten mistakes for every 4-letter word, and am stripped of typing efficiently.
ok, i'm going to try and brighten the blog atmosphere. Roll back the rainclouds, and let a little sunshine peek through. It's too gloomy at the moment.
um.
let's see. happy. positive. er. jeez this is tough.
wow. i can't think of anything. I'm serious. I've been frozen for the last five minutes, staring into space, fingers resting on the keyboard, trying to think of something to relate which will be interesting AND happy. I mean, there's the general stuff...like, i'm alive, i'm breathing, i'm relatively rich compared to the majority of the world (though i'm sure mum wouldn't agree), i'm not working in some fabrics factory where the machines eat people up daily and the overseer is an overweight guy with a hairy chest in a sweaty white singlet, who leers at all the little girls and boys saying in a...Slovakian(?) accent, "hello, my dears, my leetle flovvas, vould you like to come wit me to the truck? I am sure you would"
so yeah, i can be grateful for that.
Well, my fingers are becoming too cold to resist the comfy confines of my woollen mittens.
I hardly see the point in saying goodbye in a blog...it just doesn't seem necessary. Although i feel like i should. Well, i shall FLOUT expectation. and be rude to...no one. haha
answer: you didn't even try did you? well, here it is: estimable
QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Manny come Home; Black Books)
Fran: Where's Manny?
Bernard: Him? He left. That's what happens when you love someone and nurture them and take care of them.
Fran: You mean you fired him.
Bernard: There may have been an incident involving a hand and a kitchen item and maybe the item was a sandwich toaster and maybe the hand was Manny's and maybe I introduced them to one another.
Fran: So he's gone.
Bernard: Oh no, he still sleeps here, burrowed in like the little tick he is. But he leaves every day. Every day is another betrayal.
Evan: I took a risk when I hired you, Manny. Many people would have said 'Who is this rudderless hippy? How do I get away from him? Has he got a hunting knife strapped to his shin?'
Bernard: Up with this I will not put!
a blank box. Words appear.
"are you sick and tired of everything?
have your friends and relations become annoyed by your constant bemoanings of them?
Do you need an outlet for your swamp of passion, emotion, anger?
Well...
WE HAVE AN ANSWER!
Technology! Technology! Technology! [flashing]
BLOG.
[in small print] it will save your life.
Anyway, today is a prime time for grumbling, as it is, sadly, the final chapter in my period of happiness for the next 11 weeks. The last day of holidays.
Well, I should not be so dramatic. I’m sure there will be happiness in the following months, and it is a laughable matter that these holidays have been a ball- as I predicted, they were filled up mostly with ‘attempts at study’. Which mean: I start the day as a slug, begin work at around 2:00pm, give up at 3, and spend the rest of my hours doing cryptic crosswords.
I have it now beside me: they are really quite entertaining. Here: crunch on one.
Times change! Competent AND worthy of great respect? (9)
Look at the bottom for the answer. They’re so clever- when you get one (or, alternatively, when you yield and guiltily peer at the back for the answer) you’re like OH! That’s so smart!
What will be my next subject for attack? hmm. ah yes. Art. For the past three days (yes, i've left it a little late) i have been exerting myself most strenuously to an art project which is due at the start of term. On the first, i wasted, WASTED around four hours designing a cubist background. Slopping paint everywhere, i fought furiously with brush and splodges of black, brown, white to create something........which, you idiot, kate, was eventually going to be pretty much completely covered up anyway. Dimwit. 'background', kate, 'background.' nobody gives a stuff about the background.
mmm. i had sushi last night. it was nice. ooh, ooh, WHILE watching Black Books. Man, that series is a hoot [
(low growl) this is so annoying. My fingers are so close to dropping off from the cold, and yet, when i put my gloves on, i make about ten mistakes for every 4-letter word, and am stripped of typing efficiently.
ok, i'm going to try and brighten the blog atmosphere. Roll back the rainclouds, and let a little sunshine peek through. It's too gloomy at the moment.
um.
let's see. happy. positive. er. jeez this is tough.
wow. i can't think of anything. I'm serious. I've been frozen for the last five minutes, staring into space, fingers resting on the keyboard, trying to think of something to relate which will be interesting AND happy. I mean, there's the general stuff...like, i'm alive, i'm breathing, i'm relatively rich compared to the majority of the world (though i'm sure mum wouldn't agree), i'm not working in some fabrics factory where the machines eat people up daily and the overseer is an overweight guy with a hairy chest in a sweaty white singlet, who leers at all the little girls and boys saying in a...Slovakian(?) accent, "hello, my dears, my leetle flovvas, vould you like to come wit me to the truck? I am sure you would"
so yeah, i can be grateful for that.
Well, my fingers are becoming too cold to resist the comfy confines of my woollen mittens.
I hardly see the point in saying goodbye in a blog...it just doesn't seem necessary. Although i feel like i should. Well, i shall FLOUT expectation. and be rude to...no one. haha
answer: you didn't even try did you? well, here it is: estimable
QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Manny come Home; Black Books)
Fran: Where's Manny?
Bernard: Him? He left. That's what happens when you love someone and nurture them and take care of them.
Fran: You mean you fired him.
Bernard: There may have been an incident involving a hand and a kitchen item and maybe the item was a sandwich toaster and maybe the hand was Manny's and maybe I introduced them to one another.
Fran: So he's gone.
Bernard: Oh no, he still sleeps here, burrowed in like the little tick he is. But he leaves every day. Every day is another betrayal.
Evan: I took a risk when I hired you, Manny. Many people would have said 'Who is this rudderless hippy? How do I get away from him? Has he got a hunting knife strapped to his shin?'
Bernard: Up with this I will not put!
20080413
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm so proud!!!!!!!
guess what?
my dad was in the paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he was in an article titled "Tribute to the Kindness of Strangers"
see, a couple of days back, this lady's dog got run over by a passing vehicle. It was badly injured. Dad saw the incident and offered to take the doggy to the vet. The lady wrote in to the newspaper thanking everyone (there was also a lady who drove her home or something) cause she didn't get a chance to before, really, and she didn't know their names.
:) ah! so proud!
i'm so immoral though. I mean, i was proud before, but when it gets in the paper, it's like...THIS IS BIG, man. he must be a frickin HERO to get in the paper.
ah, dearie me.
QUOTES OF THE DAY
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.- George Carlin
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. -- Demetri Martin
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. -- Bill Cosby
i'm so proud!!!!!!!
guess what?
my dad was in the paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he was in an article titled "Tribute to the Kindness of Strangers"
see, a couple of days back, this lady's dog got run over by a passing vehicle. It was badly injured. Dad saw the incident and offered to take the doggy to the vet. The lady wrote in to the newspaper thanking everyone (there was also a lady who drove her home or something) cause she didn't get a chance to before, really, and she didn't know their names.
:) ah! so proud!
i'm so immoral though. I mean, i was proud before, but when it gets in the paper, it's like...THIS IS BIG, man. he must be a frickin HERO to get in the paper.
ah, dearie me.
QUOTES OF THE DAY
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.- George Carlin
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. -- Demetri Martin
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. -- Bill Cosby
20080412
eyelash, scent of the pine, and rot
how happy is I?
ARRGH! NOT ANY MORE! EYELASH IN MY EYE!! GAH!
k, i'm back to happy now. Know why? course not, you fool, how could you? (hahah...soz) I have just borrowed out THE LORD OF THE RINGS SOUNDTRACK from the library. Man, Floreat library is so good.
i'm listening to buble at the moment (got him too), and he describes my current emotions
"birds flying high...you know how i feel
sun in the sky...you know how i feel
breeze drifting on by....you know how i feel.
it's a new day
boom
it's a new dawn
boom
it's a new life
for meeeeeeeeeeee....
and i'm feeling...GOOD.
*strip dancing music*
hahah...he's good.
ho hum. what am i going to do tonight? i got out Batman Begins. perhaps. perhaps.
how i do waste my pitiful little life.
and what is this anyway? this bloggie? another time waster. I seem programmed to sit back and contentedly watch the days slip past, without revelations, without growth.
I said to Dani, on the third...i don't feel any different. Sixteen ain't feel any different from fifteen. It's not like WOW, hey, sixteen man, this is a whole new perspective from yesterday.
I don't feel any older.
nope, life don't go by in steps.
it's just a slow decay.
comforting, eh?
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Pippen: I didn’t think it would end this way…
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here… Death is just another path, one that we all must take… The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass… and then you see it…
Pippen: What, Gandalf? See what?
Gandalf: White shores… And beyond… A far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippen: Well, that isn’t so bad.
Gandalf: No… no it isn’t.
ARRGH! NOT ANY MORE! EYELASH IN MY EYE!! GAH!
k, i'm back to happy now. Know why? course not, you fool, how could you? (hahah...soz) I have just borrowed out THE LORD OF THE RINGS SOUNDTRACK from the library. Man, Floreat library is so good.
i'm listening to buble at the moment (got him too), and he describes my current emotions
"birds flying high...you know how i feel
sun in the sky...you know how i feel
breeze drifting on by....you know how i feel.
it's a new day
boom
it's a new dawn
boom
it's a new life
for meeeeeeeeeeee....
and i'm feeling...GOOD.
*strip dancing music*
hahah...he's good.
ho hum. what am i going to do tonight? i got out Batman Begins. perhaps. perhaps.
how i do waste my pitiful little life.
and what is this anyway? this bloggie? another time waster. I seem programmed to sit back and contentedly watch the days slip past, without revelations, without growth.
I said to Dani, on the third...i don't feel any different. Sixteen ain't feel any different from fifteen. It's not like WOW, hey, sixteen man, this is a whole new perspective from yesterday.
I don't feel any older.
nope, life don't go by in steps.
it's just a slow decay.
comforting, eh?
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Pippen: I didn’t think it would end this way…
Gandalf: End? No, the journey doesn’t end here… Death is just another path, one that we all must take… The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass… and then you see it…
Pippen: What, Gandalf? See what?
Gandalf: White shores… And beyond… A far green country under a swift sunrise.
Pippen: Well, that isn’t so bad.
Gandalf: No… no it isn’t.
20080411
sympathetic response to the c word
*kate looks sympathetic*
wow that SUCKS sam!!!!!!!!! haha, and you thought it was over TWO YEARS AGO!! I:/
GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!!!!!!! :) :) soz for being all woe is me, when perhaps you is feeling woe is you!! hahah
wow that SUCKS sam!!!!!!!!! haha, and you thought it was over TWO YEARS AGO!! I:/
GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!!!!!!! :) :) soz for being all woe is me, when perhaps you is feeling woe is you!! hahah
20080410
PnP, Corinth, self-evolution (?) and SNSM
kate sighs in relief. I've just finished my long essay. THANK GOD. I left that one a little late. ah..well. I didn't even really edit it either...BUT I CAN'T BE STUFFED DOING ANYTHING MORE. nope. nope, i refuse.
anyhoo, twas house singing and drama day yesterday. Corinth didn't make it...awwww. poof, i'm glad i didn't have to go back tonight. HAHAHA. I have so little house spirit.
omg, though, if corinth doesn't win drama it will be a blinkin crime. Georgia nottage...blimey, she is one hell of a funny person. I told her that today...she didn't really respond, so i'm not sure if she was pleased-embarrassed, or a little affronted by me talking to her HAHAHA. nah, i don't really care. In fact, it struck me that last year, there is not way i would talk to someone who i've never talked to before...just like that. ooooh...changes. don't know if they're good. Don't worry, i'm still introverted (hahahah). Gosh, it's so hard you know? You want to change so bad, but then you're afraid of changing at the same time. Even to the parts of you that you don't like. They've become attached...they are you're old friends. They've been with you through the thick and thin...and they're just...you.
but still...i reckon it's always good to keep striving to be someone better. It's just there are so many different interpretations of 'better'.
We read this really awesome poem in english today. Course, i didn't have a frickin clue what it meant...but the words were so beautiful. I was overawed. I wanted everyone to go away so i coudl revel in their beauty (hahahahhah).
it's here if you want to read it.
http://www.all-day-breakfast.com/cannam/poem.html
It's called "Prose poem- a definition of itself"
really, i think i should just shut up in english. seriously. I stutter out all these stupid things THAT I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND and the teacher nods unsurely, and goes...mmmm...and then moves on, and ellen looks at me, and i'm like, yah, i know already, i'm an idiot. sigh.
and JOY while the holidays are soon, it's gonna be more like a fuckin study session cause the exams are like WEEK THREE. golem-like scream. don't want to talk about it.
I played violin for the first time in what...three years(?) yesterday. Poor neighbours. Especially since i picked it up at ten pm. The suffering kiddiwinks rolling around in agony in their thomas the tank engine pyjamas at the screechings. mwa ha haaaa. SUFFER. I did feel a bit bad. In fact, that was something that inhibited me playing it before...cause i felt conscious that everyone could hear my dreadful playing. A pitiful excuse for not practicing i know, especially the length of time in between just worsened the performance.
oh well. don't care. in fact, i'm going to go and play now.
OMGOMGOMG....I GOT IT! SATURDAY NIGHTS SUNDAY MORNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! THANKS MUM! LOVE YOU!
QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen)
"To such perserverence in wilful self-deception Elizabeth woudl make no reply, and immediately and in selience withdrew; determined, if he ersisted in considering her repeated refulsals as flattering encouragement, to apply to her father, whose negative might be uttered in such a manner as must be decisive, and whose behaviour at lesatcoudl not be mistaken for the affectation and coquetry of an elegant female."
anyhoo, twas house singing and drama day yesterday. Corinth didn't make it...awwww. poof, i'm glad i didn't have to go back tonight. HAHAHA. I have so little house spirit.
omg, though, if corinth doesn't win drama it will be a blinkin crime. Georgia nottage...blimey, she is one hell of a funny person. I told her that today...she didn't really respond, so i'm not sure if she was pleased-embarrassed, or a little affronted by me talking to her HAHAHA. nah, i don't really care. In fact, it struck me that last year, there is not way i would talk to someone who i've never talked to before...just like that. ooooh...changes. don't know if they're good. Don't worry, i'm still introverted (hahahah). Gosh, it's so hard you know? You want to change so bad, but then you're afraid of changing at the same time. Even to the parts of you that you don't like. They've become attached...they are you're old friends. They've been with you through the thick and thin...and they're just...you.
but still...i reckon it's always good to keep striving to be someone better. It's just there are so many different interpretations of 'better'.
We read this really awesome poem in english today. Course, i didn't have a frickin clue what it meant...but the words were so beautiful. I was overawed. I wanted everyone to go away so i coudl revel in their beauty (hahahahhah).
it's here if you want to read it.
http://www.all-day-breakfast.com/cannam/poem.html
It's called "Prose poem- a definition of itself"
really, i think i should just shut up in english. seriously. I stutter out all these stupid things THAT I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND and the teacher nods unsurely, and goes...mmmm...and then moves on, and ellen looks at me, and i'm like, yah, i know already, i'm an idiot. sigh.
and JOY while the holidays are soon, it's gonna be more like a fuckin study session cause the exams are like WEEK THREE. golem-like scream. don't want to talk about it.
I played violin for the first time in what...three years(?) yesterday. Poor neighbours. Especially since i picked it up at ten pm. The suffering kiddiwinks rolling around in agony in their thomas the tank engine pyjamas at the screechings. mwa ha haaaa. SUFFER. I did feel a bit bad. In fact, that was something that inhibited me playing it before...cause i felt conscious that everyone could hear my dreadful playing. A pitiful excuse for not practicing i know, especially the length of time in between just worsened the performance.
oh well. don't care. in fact, i'm going to go and play now.
OMGOMGOMG....I GOT IT! SATURDAY NIGHTS SUNDAY MORNINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! THANKS MUM! LOVE YOU!
QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen)
"To such perserverence in wilful self-deception Elizabeth woudl make no reply, and immediately and in selience withdrew; determined, if he ersisted in considering her repeated refulsals as flattering encouragement, to apply to her father, whose negative might be uttered in such a manner as must be decisive, and whose behaviour at lesatcoudl not be mistaken for the affectation and coquetry of an elegant female."
20080406
hahah KATE! you sadist!!! you can tell why i don't blog so much anymore, ay?
nah, i'm just finding technology a little fake at the moment (ipod excluded). Like tv, for example. You look into a box for hours, absorbed in a fake little world and not motivated enough to face your own. I get restless when i watch it now- it can't capture me, most of the time. Black books is cool though, cause it's FUNNY FUNNY.
well, gotta study for BIOLOGY and CHEMISTRY and HISTORY test tomorrow. DOWN WITH HOMEWORK. I always get so apathetic when the term nears an end. Like, it's almost there...but you've gotta keep going. Come on kate. Stop typing. Get on with it.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ~Robert Benchley
nah, i'm just finding technology a little fake at the moment (ipod excluded). Like tv, for example. You look into a box for hours, absorbed in a fake little world and not motivated enough to face your own. I get restless when i watch it now- it can't capture me, most of the time. Black books is cool though, cause it's FUNNY FUNNY.
well, gotta study for BIOLOGY and CHEMISTRY and HISTORY test tomorrow. DOWN WITH HOMEWORK. I always get so apathetic when the term nears an end. Like, it's almost there...but you've gotta keep going. Come on kate. Stop typing. Get on with it.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ~Robert Benchley
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
