I've just experienced this weird desire to drink ice cold frappe. mmm *salivates*

GROAN. what to write for my short story? I haven't the foggiest. NOT THE FOGGIEST. like, i can't even see a mist of an idea. Terrible. TERRIBLE.

lit is so intimidating. i get scared, its so daunting. all these people contributing these ideas that i would never dream of, and i just sit there, too impressed to take anything in. I just hear smart ideas and words coming out of peoples mouths as sounds. Does that ever happen to you? Lately its been happening to me a lot. Where i listen to someone talking, i see their lips moving, but everything they say just tumbles out in an organized but unintelligable collection of vowels and constanents on an indecipherable melody. haha, i think i'm forgetting how to interpret sound.

meow? meow! says tigga. yes my baby. i am coming my precious.

oh crap i need to do story retrieval chart for lit. heeelllllppppppppp

http://eightsolid.com/24-very-strange-funny-signs/ = funneee

irritated at headlines again

A lot of times, i am cautious of being derisive in fear of being prejudiced or lacking understanding or empathy or whatever. But i believe my cause in this instance is just enough.
Headline:
Olympian tells what killed pool romance.

Why? just.....just why? Why do the media do this? are they reflecting on what society wants to read? If that be the case, my opinion of society has just severely degenerated. But even if our world is so narrow-minded as to get a kick out of reading the details of some randoms love life, the media shouldn't fuel that desire. They should reflect a necessary, accurate depiction of what really happens in the world. and when i say the world, i mean the whole world, not just the developed, technologically supreme countries. We are the minority, and should be getting a whole better idea of how life really is for most humans. I have no desire to be informed of the precise dynamics of prominent figures sex lives. I mean, yes, very sad, very sad that they broke up, but in the great scheme of things, next to the famines, the wars, the hunger, the abuse...it amounts to nothing.

off to do history essay. It's so depressing researching Fascism. We have to write an empathy essay on one of Hitler's Henchman. to explain why they supported hitler...background stuff. I think it's a good idea- we can only truly understand why x acted in such a why if we contextualise. Projecting todays values and attitudes on a past era is a bad idea.

We have to write a short story for lit. [slight digression. i hate saying lit. i want to say english, because lit is basically english. but whenever i do, people are like 'oh, i thought you did lit?' gr.] It sounds fun (as opposed to essay writing anyway) but when it comes down to it, starting a short story or even deciding on the theme is an agonizing process. I don't want to sound pompous or moralising or stupid or (especially) sound like i'm really trying to sound 'deep'- relentlessly philosophizing to hammer home a message i don't fully understand. scared.

actually, i have been turning over a story in my mind for some time now...but it's just a parody on everything and nothing, and it contains nothing poignant. More fun really- but why do short stories have to be serious anyway? why can't we rebel against pathos?

Word Definition! yay...had no idea what this word meant. Heard people discussing something in math, and 'soiree' somehow popped in, and i felt so stupid.

Soiree = "a party or reception held in the evening"

i shall no longer live in ignorance.
Do you want to know how i found it? After fruitless attempts of spelling it correctly in a word document, i typed in swar-ray into 'google' with the hope that some online dictionary would give its verbal pronunciation like that (you know how they sound it out....like with forte it's for-tay)

i is idiot.

By the way, my mum fractured her hand on Saturday. Scary experience. We had to call an ambulance because she kept slipping in and out of consiousness. Right now she has to wear her arm in a sling. Unfortunately for her (and me, haha- i'm terrible) it was her right arm that is incapacitated, and she can hardly do anything. Poor mum. i really should help out more...i mean i am, but more than more. i feel guilty sometimes, because i become a touch irritated when i am forced into an extra duty when i have a pile of homework which mounts by the minute. But seriously kate. Seriously man, you've got to be more sympathetic and stop being so damn selfish. haha *inner struggle- by the end of the fight, she's still not sure which part of her has conquered*

Shoved out of house (not home)

Well, it looks like we may be getting kicked out of our house soon. We were informed today- the owners have decided to put the house on the market. They're going to come at around five tomorrow and take pictures of the living areas to send to a couple in Zimbabwe. So; we have to clean this dump up before then. This study is stewn with everything you can imagine and more. I think that's a little cruel, to give us so short notice. It puts a lot of stress on mum. She wants to make the place look nice, because if the couple choose to buy it, they won't be moving in for another two years. So that buys us some time. Dad's saying he wouldn't go to so great an effort.

So crap. We look through the newspapers and see houses selling at a minimum of 1.5 million. Like we have that kind of money. I'm scared we'll end up in some dingy flat somewhere. God, my parents don't deserve that. Dad works so bloody hard, and mum...all she wants is a home. Right now i'm hating perth for their soaring house prices- god, we're almost leading the world, we're so darn expensive. I don't like this house, but i just wish we could find somewhere to settle down, some place to call our own.

yeah...it's times like this i wish we were rich. Cause it seems you have to be now....the gaps widening....You're either on top, or you're getting squished underfoot.

damn.

John Butler with a halo

Kate sloshed on the black pigment aroundJohn Butler's head. She spent a while greiving over his exceptionally long nose. Her attention-span waning, she stepped back from the canvas. And exploded with laughter.
'Hey!' she cried, gesturing towards it for the sake of some unknown viewer, 'it's Jesus!'
She stopped laughing suddenly. Her eyes grew wide. SHE HAD JUST ACHIEVED SPONTANEITY!!! IN ITS PUREST FORM!!! i mean, there are plenty of times when i surprise others by sudden outbursts or odd little comments which digress completely from the subject at hand, but to surprise MYSELF! this is a worthy occasion indeed!
she chortled away for the next few minutes, feeling highly satisfied (though not really knowing why exactly).

I watched the most random film last night. Dad picked it up from the DVD store. Called "phil the alien." A low budget film, with an outrageous storyline (including a talking beaver and an alien who turns into a homicidal maniac with the change of season). But it was still pretty funny. Only because it the humour was so far from the dull and predictable drollness that todays supposed 'humour' genre are inebriated with.
NOTE: DO NOT EVER WATCH 'THE LOVE GURU'.
Margaret and David (At the Movies on ABC) gave it only one star. From the clips, it looks TERRIBLE. Justin Timberlake is an AWFUL AWFUL actor. sorry mate. We can't be good at everything you know. And some people aren't even good it anything, so you're not alone. HAHA- nah, i'm kidding. He's an ok singer.

LAST DAY! booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
i still need to do my design development...god, i've been procrastinating from that ALL BLOOMIN HOLIDAYS. haven't done ANY math either, cause my graphics is broken. yup. that's my excuse.

I seem to be devoid of that get-up-and-go drive. Whenever i make a decision to go somewhere, or do something, I always need to wait for at least an hour before doing it. For what? To compose myself for the task ahead? Hardly. I prodded my state of mind for a bit and discovered that the idea of fluid and constant action was a little alarming.
The city is my family's decided destination for the day. Mum and dad want to look at the museum, and i thought, hell, it's the second last day of hols- i must cram some more fun in. Plus, i feel a little guilty. I hardly ever spend any time with them...i mean time time. Not just the could-you-pass-the-peas kind of time.

bbrrrring. The phone shuddered screechily against the silence of 9:00 saturday. The lone inhabitant pitter-pattered over the tile floor and picked up the receiver.
hello?
kate, this is dad.
hey dad.
listen, i've organised a mate of mine to give you a lend of his kite. We'll need to be there around 11:00, so that means you'll have to be out of your jami's at 'bout quarter past 10.
kate blinked.
ok.

So i had a whack at it today. No, i wasn't cruising the waves. Just working the kite on the sand.
I'll be straight- i was very nervous. We went to said 'mate's' house first, where the kites were set up. It was tucked away in a little cul de sac, where two friendly dogs plodded around amicably and a toddler rode round in circles on his tricycle. Tried to make conversation with their 11 year old daughter. Failed. They seem such a nice family though. I mean, the conversation breakdown was a failing on my part. Once everything was prepared, we were off, driving down the coast road.

Looking out the window, memories stirred somewhere inside. This was where we used to live, when we lived in Perth before. I still remember the address. 5 Nunn Close Bateman. Nope, not the postcode though. hell, i can't even recall my current postcode.

It was pretty fun. Yeah, the wetsuit was so stiff i could barely move my limbs, sure developed a neck-ache from craning my head to look at the kite, sure, i embarrassed myself beyond belief a number of times (by getting dragged along the beach, and crashing the kite in a bit of shrubbery) but i'm trying. I really want to do this, i really want to have fun- as much as for dad as for myself. You know?

i don't know, ever since i've come back, i've been extraordinarily sombre. This frown persists in crouching between my eyebrows. When i try to shoo it away, it creeps back in, as though that's its natural home. curious. probably just a symptom of almostendoftermohshititus.

i wonder if our mlc musicians are back from Europe. I really hope they had a blast. Can't wait to ask them all these quesitons...about the world...

QUOTE OF THE DAY: wow, i never understood this song until i looked it up on http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=52068 . It's amazing- it's about the cold war.

"Albert's always sincere, he's a sensitive type
His intentions are clear, he wanna be well-liked
If everything is nothing, then are we anything?
Is it better to be better than to be anything?
And Albert's vision is blooming uncontrolled
All his wings are slowly sinking
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
All the king's men reappear
For an eggman, on and off the wall
Who'll never be together again

Einstein's down on the beach staring into the sand
Cause everything he believes in is shattered
What you fear in the night in the day comes to call anyway-ay
We all get burned as:
One more sun comes sliding down the sky
One more shadow leans against the wall
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the king's men reappear
For an eggman, on and off the wall
Who'll never be together again

Albert's waiting in the sun
On a field American
For the cause of some inflated form of hit and run
One more sun comes sliding down the sky
One more shadow leans against the wall
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here
And all the king's men reappear
For an eggman, fallin' off the wall
Will never be together again
Albert's fallen on the sun
Cracked his head wide open
The world begins to disappear
The worst things come from inside here...

Never try to attack a sturdy, steel chair. It has an impeccable defence.

Kate snorted. She seethed. The chair provoked a short-lived assault by looking with calm detachment on her severe infuriation. The chair won. Kate hobbled away with a red toe, muttering darkly about going to Ikea.

All because the form of a teacup eluded her. (one hour ago) She poised the tip of the pencil on the clean, crisp paper and proceeded to make a series of wide, sweeping movements. The effect was studied from all angles. After a moments thought, she came to the conclusion that she was remarkably apt at drawing. But only in the eyes of the Tragothonians from planet Extortha, which have an unfathomable predilection for art works resembling grotesque, lump and scribbled objects which possess not blood ties to the intended item of study. Not even third cousins twice removed.
For all other life forms, whether it be the yellow-spotted gznoonak, the grumpy and cigar-smoking ophi, or the incurably hysterical Eurj (which, for some unknown reason, looks exactly like a bowler hat) IT WAS SHIT.

So she did was kate always does when she can't do something. She gave up and stormed off.

You guys haven't seen me really 'angry' have you? i mean, annoyed, sure. I spend most of my time annoyed as something or other (falling back on the incorrigable blueness of the carpet when my good disposition has just started to bask in a couple of rays of sunlight). But angry. hmm.
It's kind of funny, and kind of not- when my mum gets angry, she yells and storms and, well, doesn't scruple to let everyone know it. I'm the opposite. I get all cold. I clench my jaw and avoid contact completely. So when we're angry at each other, my anger is unbelievably infuriating to her. She bellows in my ear and i assume a nonchalent expression and icily observe some dot to the left side of her head. God, it peeves her. I feel bad about it afterwards, but when you're fuming the voice of morality and reason sounds very distant and feeble in your ear, and is swiftly squished by complete distortions. Burnt up by the flame that has travelled from your heart, on its way up to spout at any time from your ears.
wow, that metaphor really sucks.

something else on my nerves: i was trying to paint john butler. enough said.
also: my graphics calculator has broken.
also: i can't get the blogskin to work.
also: holidays are almost over.

do you see why an innocent teacup had to be scapegoated?

phew.

fixed it.

Funny News Article

haha! read this:

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=597575

What a let down! while he was smashing the pane, i bet an award for bravery was glittering in his minds eye, followed closely by the newpaper headline "Fast thinking cop saves innocent". Instead his department probably has to face a fine for car damage, and he has to suffer the humiliation for attempting to resuscitate a deceitful bit of plastic.

Finally, Big Brother has died! i shall dance on his grave!
Well, actually, i believe it's more correct to say he's committed suicide. It was his own undoing. His suicide was guaranteed from the first episode. despise it.

Radiohead are a pretty cool band.

wow. everything slightly interesting in me seems to have dried up like putty dries up in the sun. i'm going to have to leave you know...i have nothing left to say.

...and she waits for a podcast to download...

ok i'm bored.
hey, i just found this cool little mnemonic (god, it took me ages just to find that damn word). Tis LIMP PAPER, and gives the reasons for Hitler's rise to power

Long-term bitterness (many people thought Germany had been winning the war. They called the government 'november criminals' for agreeing to the humiliating and crippling Treaty of Versailles)
Ineffective Constitution (overly democratic. Nothing much could be done. Plus, article 48 gave too much power to the Chancellor- he could forgo fundamental rights in 'extreme' situations.
Money (a few important moguls supported Hitler and funded his efforts)
Propaganda (heavy propaganda organised by a guy called Goebbels)

Programme (Hitler's scapegoating techniques assured that his programme could satisfy the majority)
Attacks by the Friekorps, SA and SS (aka, bands of thugs)
Personality (Hiter's had the personality to influence a lot of people. Well, the one he showed at rallies, anyway.)
Economic Depression (the economy had mainly relied on American loans. so when wall street crashed...)
Recruitment by Hindenburg (ie Hitler was made Chancellor)

GAH! i'm so sick of waiting for this Hamish and Andy podcast to download on itunes. I can't even pause the damn thing and wait for tomorrow, cause then it just goes back down to 0 kb.
grr. 24 more minutes. Do you know how slow my computer is? It's taken AT LEAST AN HOUR to download 11MB's.
omg. i just thought to myself, 'is there such a word as 'fidgetates?'

how much time must i spend looking into a screen. a flat glowing screen. Moving my fingers in wild, erratic movements. Expressionless. If animals were a touch more intelligent, they'd think we were the strangest creatures.

Did i hear right? I'm listening to a Harry Potter soundtrack (haha) and i swear one of them just said
'have a very fuckin christmas'
*turns up the dial and listens again*
Seriously! i think she just swore!

15 minutes.
yes. i'm rambling just to pass the time.

OMG, did you know that Henry Ford's company funded the Nazi party in its emergence years? unbelievable...

"[Hitler's policies] were half-baked, racist clap-trap... but among the jumble of hysterical ideas Hitler showed a sure sense of how to appeal to the lowest instincts of frightened masses."
It's so hard to know which sources to truly believe in history. We are all afflicted by bias of some form...i mean, every assertion is one part opinion. Even the statistics are biased! you wouldn't think so, eh? i mean, how can you be one-sided with cold mechanical numbers? well, you can be partilaly selective with the data. Eg. Say you showed the crime rate in America in 1923 was 300 murders a year in Texas. And you're like woah! Man! and you jump to the conclusion that the crime rate soared in that year. However, what if for the last decade it's been about the same? Suddenly the situation changes. You conclude that Texas is just a natural breeder of sinners.
*note: the former was a mere hypothesis. no offence to any texans. your heavy accent just made your state jump into my mind first.*

EIGHT MINUTES!! come one come onnnnnn. I have that feeling when you want to pee...except i don't. My dear kate, i do believe that's called impatience. HAHAHA

OHHH! THIS IS SO SWEET! read

"...and I couldn't stop smiling. All because someone wonderful had just made me very happy. The photographer would tell me to move to a certain position and I'd turn that way. I was actually feeling pretty comfortable. I'd move to the position he wanted and I'd look deep or intense or one of those things I try to do to avoid looking like an idiot...and then a smirk would steal across my mouth...and then a smile...then a grin...and finally I'd start fucking giggling like a complete fool.

And then he'd tell me a new position and it would start all over again. Over and over and over.

I told her later that I thought she'd ruined me for photoshoots forever and that I'd probably never be a believable serious mopey guy again."

I can't help feeling sometimes that Duritz is just a touch self-absorbed. He assesses his unhappiness too much...and by focussing on it, he feeds it. so easy to say though...

TWO MINUTES!!!!!!!!

(i'm desperate now) I'm going into Floreat tomorrow. I really want to get out this book that Jemps told me about ages ago, called 'the long way gone'. i've been searching for it, cause it sounded really good- a true story about a child soldier. Also need to get out something for my art assessment. BOO. do you know how much bloody art homework i have these holidays??? unbelievable. and i en't begun any of it.

IT'S DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm gone.

I swear, everything is all just a state of mind.
Listen to a piece of music. Sounds terrible, doesn't it? Listen to it again. Tell yourself it's good. Seek out why other people might like it. Not so bad now, huh?
Life's good, oh yeah, it's fantastic. Life sucks- it sure does. The world is so good, the world is so cruel. Damn these generalisations! You nod at them both, you deny the validity of both vehemently.

Isn't it so strange how our entire outlook, our entire demeanour can fluctuate with the temperature? Such small factors paint the tints of our lives...

Quit philosophizing kate. god, i hate it when you do that. 'oooh deep'. Deep my ars you shallow prick. maybe to a six-year-old, but to everyone else, you're just stating the bleeding obvious, and being very aggravating while doing it. 'paint the tints of our lives'. PAHAHA. You've been reading too many quotes kate. every sentence doesn't have to be some divine embodiment of subliminal meaning. Trying to capture the pure essence of thought, eh? Striving towards the meaning of life? you idiot.
sorry, needed that self-vent. hahaha (yeah, i'm crazy)

yo!

I'm afraid i've given up entirely on Robinson Crusoe. Why it is a classic i have no idea. Why does he have to be puntilious??? It's like reading maths....
Therefore, it has been replaced by a book called 'Tomorrow's People'. It's supposed to be non-fiction, hypothesizing the effects the ever-evolving technology will have on our future selves. However, it is so blatantly subjective, it may as well be fiction. I mean, there's so many 'it this's' and 'if that happened' when predicting the future, such a plethora of factors that would effect the projected outcome. The author's talking about a world where the family unit has dissipated entirely, that we talk only through our cyber-selves, where there are buttock sensors on the loo, and instruments in the toilet to analyse our shit to detect disease. Where we interact (and what's more, choose to interact) with artificially intelligent robots more than other humans.
If you ask me, she's getting carried away with her imagination. Influenced by films such as AI and I, Robot. I mean, she's a scientist, a neurologist, so she is marginally certified to write such an audacious book. But i'm struggling to see her purpose in writing it. How can i be persuaded to fear somethign that has little chance of ever enventuating? Did she expect her readers to tke her seriously?
But i'm still reading it, because her wild contentions are amusing and mildly interesting.

QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"Drawing on my fine command of the language, I said nothing." --Robert Benchley

"I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality." --Bob Hope

"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

"Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them."

pinch n a punch

Good Grief. One Nation wants to make a Big Brother granny part of their gang. Now what does that say about Australian politics?

We had a tute party today (i remembered at 7:30 this morning, haha). It was a tribute for Anna- she's leaving for Japan at the end of this term. I'm still trying to decide whether i'm envious or not.

Hmm. i like Crowded House.

"whenever i fall at your feet, you let your tears rain down on me"

I'm really scared i wrote my essay all wrong. Park was delineating what exactly should be in the topic i'm doing to the class today...i kind of wish he hadn't, then i could have pleaded ignorance, hahah. But...you know, i can't be stuffed doing it again. No way man. Over my dead body.


I'm also really starting to doubt my state of mind when i opted for the eucalyptus as my plant to research. I think we were supposed to choose a particular species. I chose a genus. A very broad genus, which just so happens to be made up of 800 highly diverse species.

Ooh, yay! new James Bond movie. No...i'm not a fan. In fact (strike me down) i've only seen one...the most recent, with Daniel Craig. you know, when the guy whips his balls?...yeah.
haha, well i want to see it. Ah, so many movies, so little time. What else do i want to see?
1. Band Trip
2. (possibly) get smart
3. the new batman movie (for perhaps the sole reason it was Ledger's last)
4. Magnolia
5. the sixth sense (i'm going in dvd's as well)
6. fargo
7. mongol

yeah...plus somethin scary. get the blood pumping. stop fantasizing kate!

QUOTES OF THE DAY: (Emo Phlips)

"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."

"I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there’s never any gum under any of them."

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

"People come up to me and say, Emo, do people really come up to you?"

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, I’m going to mop the floor with your face.
I said, You’ll be sorry.
He said, Oh, yeah? Why?
I said, Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well."

Finally! Some humour worth laughing at!!! i'm overjoyed!!