saving private ryan

I watched Saving Private Ryan last night. God. A film has never moved me like that before. When medic Wade died, I cried. Not subtle wimperings which can be passed off as stomach pains- i'm talking about full-out sobbing. It was...ah, jeez, there isn't a word i can find to describe it.
I was having my dinner during the first section- which i discovered was a very bad idea. I saw a man who look upon his own guts spilling from his body and his hands, slick with his own blood, treid desperately and fruitlessly to hold himself together, screaming. I saww a man with a raw bleeding stump for an arm, who then spotted his limb on the ground and picked it up as though hypnotised. I saw a man who had just escaped death when a bullet bounced off his helmet- he took it off in shock, as though astounded at his luck, only for another missile to gouge straight through his forehead. But i keep thinking about this one happening. See, the survivors had run out of ammunition. And so, they ran back out onto the red-stained beach, littered with the bodies of their mates. One man was still alive, and he cried out as he saw people rushing towards him- perhaps he thought they were going to save him. But instead they grabbed the bullets from him, and left him for the sand to soak his life away. I'm not saying that what the men did was wrong- in fact, if they had stayed to help him, they would become targets themselves. They probably would join him, in fact. Another bleeder on the beach. But just thinking of that hope that must have risen in his throat as the dying man saw them coming towards him, only for them to turn away without a backward glance...it's just so damn heart-breaking.
I had just taken half a bite out of a cherry tomato when the film started. I looked down at it through the darkness, and couldn't see anything but how red it was- and i imagined its juice running down my mouth in rivers, like a repulsive bloody simulation. I know, crazy...those kinda films do weird stuff to my mind. It made me think of Lord of the Rings (Return of the King), in the scene when Faramir has just gone to fight a futile battle to try and prove his worth to his father. Denethor sits hunched, over his thrown, eating a feast as his men are shot like game on the fields. His long hair shrouds his face with his glinting eyes fixated on his plate, juice spurting out of his lips grotesquely, staining his hands. After that, i could not look at my plate without feeling sick to the stomach.
Jesus.
Two words: Fuck War.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (saving private ryan)

Medic Wade: [after loosing a man on Omaha shouting] Just give him a fucking chance you son of a bitch! Son of a fucking bitch!

Captain Miller: You want to leave? You want to go off and fight the war? All right. All right. I won't stop you. I'll even put in the paperwork. I just know that every man I kill the farther away from home I feel.

Captain Miller: Sometimes I wonder if I've changed so much, my wife is even gonna recognize me whenever it is I get back to her, and how I'll ever be able to, tell about days like today. Ahh, Ryan. I don't know anything about Ryan, I don't care. The man means nothing to me; he's just a name. But if, you know, if going to Rem"al, and finding him so he can go home, if that earns me the right to get back to my wife, well then, then that's my mission.

Corporal Upham: [Wade lying down, shivering with pain and anguish, after being shot through the stomach] Tell us what to do... tell us how to fix you.
Captain Miller: What can we do Wade? Tell us what to do.
Medic Wade: [Wade still shivering] I could use some... I could use a little Morphine.
Captain Miller: [Capt. Miller to Sergeant Horvath] Okay... Give it to him... Give it him!