Tennis Tragedy Terrifies the Tactless...kate

Errrrr. Do you know what time I had to get up today? On a SUNDAY?
6:30am.
Yes, I can see the sympathetic tears coursing down your cheeks. You know the world has descended into darkness when circumstances like these are disseminated.
I had to rise at such an ungodly hour because I had a tennis tournament today which started at 8:00…and it took, like an hour to drive to the place.
Ooh, tournament, I hear you say. Very fancy. Please, I beg you, do not cosy up with the idea that I got into the tournament because I was good. Bah. Nah, my coach was absolutely DESPERATE, and we needed 4 people to make up a team.
It was horrible. Ghastly, I saw, blinkin ghastly.
We had to play 12 games in doubles (2 sets) and the same amount for (epileptic fit) singles. We lost. Of course. Abysmally. 6-2, 6-4 for doubles and 6-1, 6-1 for singles.

Segment from today 1#

Inside Kate’s head.
“Ok Kate. You can do this. Of course you can do this. Hah! Of course you can’t you lying bastar-…*optimistic voice quashes negative with effort* Kate. Come on, man. Pull yourself together. Hit that bloody ball.”
The enemy serves, the ball arching gracefully in the air before it makes furious impact with the racquet and zooms towards her at the speed of light + 1. Kate flings out her arm just in time and makes contact! She rejoices! The ball flies in the opposite direction at a derisorily slower pace.
And hits the net.
(negative voice) “Well. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Pah.”

Segment from today 2#

The green ball can barely be beholden by the naked eye because it is moving so fast. It pummels it’s way towards Kate, whose eyes widen to the size of saucers. She realises she won’t be able to hit it- it’s too high. She’s going to have to move back. And quickly. So, she runs backward. It’s coming, it’s coming! She’s not going to make it! She lifts her racquet up! She’s about to make contact!
The earth stops revolving for a moment.
In slow motion, she feels herself losing balance.
She stumbles.
She can feel herself toppling over backwards.
Then she hits the ground with an almighty whack.
…
Smooth Kate. Very smooth.
‘Twas the second most embarrassing time in my entire life.
Oh, and, just so’s ya know- a whole colony of eager parents was watching of the sidelines. Wonnerful.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Greenday- Walking Contradiction)
I beg to differ on the contrary
I agree with every word that you say
Talk is cheap and lies are expensive
My wallet's fat and so is my head
Hit and run and then I'll hit you again
I'm a smartass but I'm playing dumb