Recently, my sister became a temporary sitter for her friends mice.

this was one of them.

I don't think there is the need for more words.

Have i mentioned before that my dad has taken it upon himself to learn the art of kite-surfing? Well, in case i haven't, my dad has taken it upon himself to learn the art of kite-surfing.
I went with him yesterday to practice on Nedland's oval- just flying the kite on the grass to get the hang of it. After all, no sense making an unnecessary fool of oneself. I still managed to, however, not to worry. It is astonishingly more difficult than it appears. Dad manipulated the canvassed flying beast with ease. When it was my turn (in my very stylish harness which looked like an oversized nappy), i tried to keep a cool head; but this determination was not abetted by the fact that, every few minutes, a particularly nasty gust of wind would abet the kite in lifting me a few feet in the air.
I'm Mary Poppins!!!
I also managed a spectacular nose dive into the grass, and was dragged along a few metres (much to the amusement of a family gathering on their balcony).

Well, enough of my adventures, dearest bloggie. How are you, bloggie, by the way? I always neglect asking you. Well, i hope you are faring fine.

I had a dream of going back to school last night. I also had another dream about a scientist's failed attempt of raising animals on Mars. Poor things. They had to keep moving, because the planet's path of motion meant that if they stopped, the sun would catch up with them and frazzle them. I recall, the scientist said "it is very unlikely any of you will survive the morning".

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Carry On -- motorace)

We just stare while the wheels fall off
But everyone seems to carry on, carry on
No time to tell you how much we lost
Cause everyone needs to carry on, carry on.

Looking for some words to say
there's no familiar faces round here but the feeling's the same
Is it real? Does it give too much away?
Is pouring out my heart till you come back a reason to stay, do you know?

thought's which slunk into her mind on a sunday

ok, Moby COULD be just about the most interesting guy i have ever indirectly known (excluding duritz, duh). I'm just reading his bloggie at the moment, and IT'S BRILLIANT. top hole, chappie, you have just got yourself another avid reader.
i don't understand you Sam. You're always defending him from other's critisism and saying how fabulous he is (i agree) but you have this massive thing against bald guys. Sort out your prejudices girl! hah hah.
anyhoo, here's the link. I promise, it will entertain.
http://www.moby.com/journal
ah, he puts me to shame.

I have whiled away the morning hours indulging myself in a little nostolgia by dragging out this huge box with about 11 million photos stacked away. It's funny- looking at them almost made me remember who i was before. We looked so happy and family orientated. The teenage years eh?
I was actually rather cute. Not adorable; no, no, no. Just a little bit sweet. It's really strange; whenever i look back on my past self- until about 10 or something, it's almost as though i'm recalling fondly a little sister that died. yes, i know, i can see you arching an elegant eyebro. weird.

i really don't like timbaland's singing; but i like his arrangements. I'm listening to his album at the moment (amy's christmas present). I like 'time' and 'one and only'.

You know, it's just hit me. This blog is really nothing but a place where i can relieve my narcisstic side. It's a place where i can fix the spotlight on me, me, me.
oh. bugger. Now i've defiled my enjoyment of blogging.
well, TOO BAD READER!! mwa ha haaaa!! I shall not quit. My thoughts have got to exist somewhere- and they die very quickly when inside my head.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (quotes from "zoolander" and "bruce almighty". you figure out which is which)

Derek Zoolander: Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
Matilda: Do what for a career?
Derek Zoolander: Be professionally good looking.

God: [Reading from a manuscript of what Bruce said the previous evening] "The gloves are off, God.", "God has taken my bird and my bush.", "God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass.", "Smite me, O Mighty Smiter." Now, I'm not big on blasphemy, but that last one made me laugh.

Derek Zoolander: What? Are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?
Matilda: A what?
Derek Zoolander: A eugoogoolizer... you know one who speaks at funerals. [Matilda looks at Derek confused]
Derek Zoolander: Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?

oh god. the last one makes me laugh every time. :D

six dollars change

I went to save the children's store in Mosman Park today for cs.
um...why the hell did i say i would be there at 9:30?? there is something seriously wrong with me.
it was ok. there were a couple of old ladies there; both friendly enough. I just sorted n stuff...WHICH IS GOOD. I would definitely prefer a menial, dreary and monotonous task than having to interact with customers and the like. I wanted to do 3 hrs, but they didn't know what to do with me after the first 2 and 1/4. eh.
oh, jeez, i feel sooooo bad. I saw this cool ship clip, and the book 'sophie's world' and so i purchased them. I held out ten dollars, and the little ol lady at the counter took the five from my other hand. She gave me coins as change, and a knowing glance [me gushing thanks]. I COUNTED THE CHANGE WHEN I GOT BACK...AND SHE GAVE ME SIX DOLLARS CHANGE!!!
dear, silly, kind old bird.
...i feel so bad.

friday has come, sam and ness! you've made it through the week! rejoice, for the reprise of 2 free days has come at last. :)

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (counting crows-- amy hit the atmosphere)

There has to be a change Im sure
Today was just a day fading into another
And that cant be what a life is for
And anything she said well she feels a lot better
And thats all that really matters to me

oh my. my entries are just getting more and more unimaginative and boring. why do i do this again?

Heath Ledger found dead at NY apartment
Wednesday Jan 23 09:00 AEDT

Australian actor Heath Ledger has been found dead in New York of a possible drug overdose, according to US police.

Ledger, 28, was found dead at a residence, in Broome St, SoHo, by his housekeeper and a masseuse at 3.31pm local time (7.31am AEDT).

The New York Times reports that the apartment belongs to actress Mary-Kate Olsen and that signs "point to suicide". Olsen is currently in California, the paper reports.

Ledger was found after the housekeeper and masseuse knocked on the apartment's bedroom door. When no-one answered, they entered and found the actor unconscious.

Paramedics who attended the scene found the actor in full cardiac arrest, and unsuccessfully attempted to perform CPR. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

Police told the Times they did not suspect foul play. Prescription pills were strewn around the actor's bed, according to various reports.

It was unclear if it was an intentional or accidental death.

Ledger split last year from his fiancee Michelle Williams, with whom he has a two-year-old daughter, Matilda.

He dropped out of school at 16 and moved from Perth to Sydney and then to Los Angeles to pursue his acting career.

Ledger received an Academy Award nomination for his role in Brokeback Mountain. He stars as the Joker in the upcoming Batman movie, The Dark Night.

Ledger had recently been romantically linked to Australian model Gemma Ward. "

article from : http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=370536&rss=yes

jesus. i saw the headline, and i'm like...no. No. This isn't real. This can't be real. jesus.

Guilty of SIN!!!

I just got back from community service @ a church place in floreat, putting out tables n chairs n such. For every second, i could almost sense their *religious feelers* attuned to my every move, as though they could see through my helpful facade and were frantically signalling to eachother behind my back "SHE'S ONE OF THEM! SHE'S AN ATHEIST!!" It did feel kind of, i dunno...deceitful? ah well. That's one and a half hours left of cruel backbreaking labour (hah) This sudden thought hit me when i was unstacking a chair, that i had to grin in self-amusement. It was: I was being very christian. get it? no...no it's lame. i know.
Omg...there was this guy there...and he was like AN ASIAN ADAM DURITZ! sweet. Graduated in 2000 though...yes, i was eavesdropping.
In fact, they were all about 20 years old- it was so obvious they found our presence irksome- and just wanted to hang out by themselves without toddlers bustling around them. Uncomfortable on both parts.
Why does such a large portion of life have to spent being uncomfortable? Or is that just me? hmm.
Well, i'm going back there tonight for a quiz with Alex...it suddenly occurred to me that because nobody specified what we are going to be quizzed on, and the fact that it's a holy house ...oh dear. It will probably be a questionairre on Jesus or the bible. Oh carnivorous cranberry.

QUESTION: "who were Jesus' first disciples?'
KATE: ooh! i know! pick me! It was David and Goliath, weren't it?
Maybe i should have paid more attention in RE.
No.
No i prefer drawing turds and stuff with Sam. Hahhah [not trying to be offensive here. This is pure fact.]

the pic in the last blog was the new CD cover for Counting Crow's album coming out in March, entitled "saturday nights, sunday mornings". Here is what he has to say about it.

"[it's] about dissolution and disintegration. it's about when saturday night happens and you lose all sense of yourself. and it’s about when you wake up sunday morning and look back at the wreck you’ve made of your life and you think, 'how can i possibly fix this? how can i ever climb out of this hole?' and then you start to try and climb."

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Colorblind-- i think u can guess who...this is my new fave song]

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready, I am ready, I am ready
I am..taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready, I am ready, I am ready,
I am fine

I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready, I am ready, I am ready
I am fine

bah, humbug

gaarrrrr!!!
f%@# this community service. This save the children store at mosman park were supposed to ring me on Wednesday...but still nada. I tried calling a few times....but after about 20 rings, i lost patience. wtf??? I just sent an email with undertones of extreme annoyance. bah, humbug.

beware: there is no doubt you will experience severe side effects of boredom

<

so yesterday i walked with my sister into claremont to go to the library. Strange expedition in itself, but the curious nature of the excursion is heightened when one learns that there is a library about a street away from us. ah well.


I got out these two art books with a wide variety of renowned artists and works within. I flicked through one (only bothering to look at the pictures and not the useful notes beneath) and then started on the other. In the middle of my nonchalant page-turning, i paused at one particular piece. I had seen it in the other book, a work by Gentileschi (i do not know the name...i am currently copying it from the book) entitled "Judith and Holferners". It is an especially benign picture, delightful to set one's eyes upon. Involving two broads sticking a sword through a reclining man's throat [blood included]. As i studied it in detail, i resolved myself on the issue that something did not look right. Technically, i mean, not morally. I referred to the identical copy in the other volume, and my suspicions were confirmed. The two pieces were mirror images of each other. *gasp* ONE WAS PRINTED WRONG. ONE IS AN INACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SAID MASTERPIECE. "horror, horror, horror" I was able to identify the problemo, cause i recalled the direction in which the fountain of blood was spurting.





k, i've been reading the most interesting book lately, called "The Social Animal."


It is by this famous social analyst, Elliot Aronson. Usually i'm the sort of person, when reading non-fiction, makes it through the first couple of sentences, then my braincells begin to cavort together/dance the macarina/entertain the concept that animals are able to understand humans and that they are the superrace and we are their servant [not so hard to imagine when you've got cats]. But, he is actually interesting! More than that, he is absolutely captivating! ah...i would give examples...but i can't be stuffed at the moment. I shall keep you on your toes (self-directed scoff) until a later date.


Sometimes i find myself thinking i wish something really big would happen to me- during those moments i don't even really care if it's good or bad (ie. getting kidnapped and brutally beaten vs. winning the lotto). Not to get pity or attention or anything like that for the first, please believe...ayaa, attention is more petrifying than the kidnapper. Nah, it's cause i feel i need something to jerk me out of this torpid reverie of waking up, doing this and that, then going to sleep. With no real purpose or plan to guide my days, no idea what's going to happen the next minute or in the next ten years. Like, i feel if i keep going like this, i will find myself moribund on the creaky bed, i will think of my life, and suddenly realise that i haven't made a difference. I haven't made a ripple. I haven't done a single thing that i can treasure with a hint of pride as i drift away.


but that ain't gonna happen. Is it ya great lazy sod, armadillo? sheesh.


if you're wondering where all this is coming from, it's partly due to the fact that, as soon as my dad gets home from work, he says to me two things. One: 'what have u done today?' and i don't have an answer; Two: '(in a disapproving tone) and how many days left have u got til school?
At which point i scurry from the room in a weak attempt to scurry from the already imparted sentence that continues to swim in my mind until i heave it away by devoting my attention brainlessly to windows media player.



hmm. just browsing blogs at the moment. >>
"I love the relationship that anyone has with music: because there’s something in us that is beyond the reach of words, something that eludes and defies our best attempts to spit it out. It’s the best part of us, probably, the richest and strangest part...." -Nick Hornby, Songbook -
<<>

QUOTES OF THE DAY: (answering machines)

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...

Heaven, God speaking...

Unnerving Dream of past in future

i had a weird dream last night.

It was school again, and everyone was making their way towards assembly. Jemps was walking with me and asked me whether i had interviewed Adam Durtiz yet. I replied no, sadly not, because he hardly ever does gigs in Australia...in fact he never does. We entered the auditorium, and Jemps had to go off to take her place in the orchestra. I couldn't find anywhere to sit- well, there were empty spaces, but i didn't recognise any faces. People were getting impatient, so i went up this spare aisle so sit by myself. A couple of seconds later a group of people came up from the other side and sat down next to me. When i realised who they were, god, i was so terrified. It was Rosie, Chloe and Maddie-- friends from St Margarets. They were newly enrolled students at MLC; i couldn't believe it. They hadn't recognised me because it was dark, but just in case, i turned my head away from them. On stage, there was some production going on where people were dancing and skating about in a somewhat haphazarded fashion. Lin lin Doh was skating on the stage, executing magnificent leaps and turns. Suddenly i found myself part of a circle of students on stage, and we were all wearing skates too. Nobody was doing the correct movements, and so i tried to motivate them by performing them myself, but became embarrassed and stopped. I then found myself sitting down next to my old friends again, and i pulled my cap down so low on my face, all i could see was its dark interior. One of them spoke to me, and i murmered something quietly in reply, praying they wouldn't be able to identify my nasal pitch. Finally, the assembly ended, and i ran out. It was raining. I was finding it very hard to run, as though some invisible external force was physically obstructing my movement. Michelle Wakeman called out and laughed snidely at me, but i was more concerned about the matter at hand. How could this be? How could they be HERE? At MLC? Why? WHY?
It was break, and so i turned to the lockers (still year 10). I realised i had forgotten to pick up some forms which my mother had prepared which informed me which locker number i had. I was agitated until i recalled i had heaved my bag on top of the lockers earlier on. I felt a bit muddled- i wasn't sure if it was recess or lunch. I mean, i looked at my watch and it was 12:00, but i couldn't recall sitting down with Sam and Ness under the tree eariler on. So i asked Eleni, and she laughed incredulously.
"yeah, yeah, i know. Hey, it's the first day of school" i replied to her snickerings.

and yeah. That's it. In that split second after i woke in which the dream-world melds into reality, i actually believed Rosie and co were here, in perth. I had to remind myself it was still holidays.

Do any of you get that sensation, just when you're about to sink into slumber when your whole self undergoes a kind of spasm, and you jerk awake for a second or two, before sliding down into the darkness of closed eyelids again? It has been happening to me a lot lately...and it feels very strange.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (Deja Vu-- something for kate)

And I sleepwalk around, two feet off the ground,
while the real world is trying to reach me.
And when the rain comes down, I see it all now.

Standing on the great divide,
of some collision between, ordinary and imaginary lives.
And this could be your lucky day, 'cause if tomorrow ever comes,
you'll be looking, looking the other way.

And you sleepwalk around, two feet off the ground,
while the real world is trying to reach you.
With stories that you, already knew.

will most certainly contain large amounts of profanity

I watched "the departed" last night. Kate's proffesional response: meh.
I was personally expecting a great deal more as a result of the degree of accolade it received from the critics. I recall they raved about it for some time. However, i did not find the script too ingenious. It relied on the small enjoyment people get out of hearing the word 'fuck.' That little word cropped up everywhere, and i mean everywhere. I am being absolutely dead honest when i say that there might have been only 1 or 2 sentences in the movie in which it did not appear. You think i am joking, perhaps? Pulling your leg, tickling your funny bone? I am not.

exhibit 1

Frank Costello: I got this rat, this gnawing, cheese eating fuckin' rat and it brings up questions... You know, see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend... Why don't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. Everybody's fuckin' numbers.
Billy Costigan: Is there something that you just wanna go ahead and ask me? 'Cause I'll give you the fuckin' answer, all right? Frank, look at me. Look at me. I'm not the fuckin' rat. Okay? I'm not the fuckin' rat.

exhibit 2

Dignam: Your fuckin' family's dug into the Southie projects like ticks. Three-decker men at best. You, however, grew up on the North Shore, huh? Well, la-di-fuckin'-da. You were kind of a double kid, I bet, right? Huh? One kid with your old man, one kid with your mother. You're upper-middle class during the weeks, then you're droppin' your "R"s and you're hangin' in the big, bad Southie projects with your daddy, the fuckin' donkey on the weekends. I got that right? Dignam: [Billy does not answer] Yup. You have different accents? You did, didn't you? You little fuckin' snake. You were like different people.
Billy Costigan: You a psychiatrist?
Dignam: Well, if I was I'd ask you why your a Statie making 30 grand a year. And I think if I was Sigmund fuckin' Freud I wouldn't get an answer. So tell me, what's a lace-curtain motherfucker like you doing in the Staties?
Billy Costigan: Families are always rising or falling in America, am I right?
Oliver Queenan: Who said that?
Billy Costigan: Hawthorne.
Dignam: [Dignam makes a farting sound] What's the matter, smartass, you don't know any fuckin' Shakespeare?

You know, it is almost fuckin hilarious.
oh...and if i haven't put you off enough already, everyone dies in the end. Hah. Yes, i have spoiled it for everyone. What an undeniably errant thing for me to do.

I think it would be quite cool to be a critic. Slagging down all the hideous films and books. Well, apart from the fact you'd attract hatred like a dungbeetle to a pile of faeces.

I love morals. I love watching as they fly out the window.

Last night, an ad came on, you know, one of those 'back to school stationary' ads.
*kates pupils dilate. In slow motion, she makes an enormous lunge towards the remote. NOOOOOOOO! her finger presses down on the button. The station turns. relief. But the memory remains.*
Actually, i am almost *almost* looking forward to school. A nice change, one could say. Yes, the thought of having to actually work for a change scares the bejeeeeezus outta me, but, yknow. It would be...a nice change. So diminished though.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: ( Basket Case-- Green Day...wow. i have just realised how relevant this is. hah! apart from the stoned part, of course. That was yesterday.)

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
All at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or I'm just stoned?

WARNING: may contain traces of profanity

Feel for me. Send your pity via 'emotion currents' which float freely on the air.
I just went for a walk while dad took a lesson kite-surfing. When we were driving back, he pulled up to Ciacabelles (i think that's how you spell it); a pizza shop. The very pizza shop which i was planning to get a job at, but had currently done nothing about it. [mum's friend's son works there, and they were going to arrange something. I wasn't gonna; lazy me? are you frickin kidding?] Anyhoo, i'm like, no way dad. nuh uh. don't you dare. But does he listen? Nope. Instead he drags me in and asks if any positions are available.
SERIOUSLY DAD??!! I need at least 3 hours to prepare myself mentally for this sort of thing!! You just don't waltz in there which 2 seconds preparation. He spoke for me...which infers that i am not independent. AND THE GUY AT THE PIZZA PLACE IS EXPECTING ME TO WORK WHEN SCHOOL STARTS. ARE YOU JOKING. I AM GOING TO BE LOADED WITH HOMEWORK. FUCK FUCK FUCK. *kate mopes self-pityingly*

damn.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: ( the bird and the worm--the used. I like this song. heh heh heh.)

"All alone he turns to stone

while holding his breath half to death

Terrified of whats inside to save his life

he crawls like a worm from a bird

crawls like a worm from a bird

Out of his mind away

pushes him whispering

must have been out of his mind

mid-day delusions of pushing this out of his head

maybe out of his mind"

meanie armadillo

A thought of even the slightest promise of achieving interest hasn't managed to penetrate the accumalating dust pile which has replaced all manner of knowledge in my mind. Armadillo apologizes. [omg. for a second, i forgot how to spell apologize. damn it freerice, you're supposed to help me not hinder.]

HA!! I was just trying to find engaging blogs (very hard to find), and i stumbled across this one called Josh's Thoughts. HAHAHHAAAA. ok, i think it's funny, cause for the entirety of 2007, he only has 7 posts. heehaw. It is like inferring he only had 7 thoughts that year *snide snuffle*. Yeah, yeah. I'm mean. sorry dude. But i would advise to alter your title to something along the lines of "some thoughts of Josh's", or 'a couple of concepts/ideas/perceptions that sprang on me late at night after i got stoned'.

I am feeling mean. And, right now, it feels good. Just try and stop me!! *manical laugh [complete with background flashes of lightening and a Low Camera Angle].

well. off to borrow out a DVD and kill some more brain cells. la'erz!

peeved kate

What am i? a slave?? hmm. My sister just asked me to boil a cup of water for her. I mean, as if she can't do that for herself. Her excuse? 'my hands are dirty'. Well, dear, there's a simple resolution to that isn't there? WASH THEM for pete's sake.



ah. and now my mum has just shouted at me cause i didn't use the 'enamel cup'.

"no damn common sense." pleasant.



yes. yes, if you haven't noticed, i am in a bad mood.


about 8 hours later...

There is this really really weird song that i'm listening to right now called "Frontier Psychiatrist." Kind of cool too. Heh heh. Check it out on youtube. Tis a hoot, i assure. I love the swaying ghosts.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (frontier psychiatrist, the avalanches)

Oh mr kirk, Im as upset as you to learn of dexters truancy
But surely, expulsion is not the answer!
Im afraid expulsion is the only answer
Its the opinion of the entire staff that dexter is criminally insane

That boy needs therapy, psychosomatic,
That boy needs therapy, purely psychosomatic
That boy needs therapy
Lie down on the couch!
what does that mean?
Youre a nut! youre crazy in the coconut!
What does that mean? that boy needs therapy
Im gonna kill you, that boy needs therapy
Ranagazoo, lets have it to you
On the count of three
That, that, that, that, that boy.. boy needs therapy
He was white as a sheet
And he also made false teeth

a whole lot of blithering

On the 5 hour flight back to home sweet home from Tasmania, i discovered that the excitements of planes has evolved from watching the pool of drool accumalate in the lap of the granny in front of you. (ooh kate, so ageist). While you're probably pretty used to all those cool gadgets cause you fly Singapore airlines n stuff, Qantas is my only option, and they're usually pretty crappy. However, in this plane, there were tv's in the back of the chairs! There was an actual selection of films, so you didn't have to watch hilary duff in 'raise your voice' and other stuff which assimilates to examining decaying piles of shit.
So, i settled back and watched The Simpsons Movie [omgomgomg...GREEN DAY were in it!!! i was hyperventilating when the film started off with American Idiot!!]. It was a bit of a disappointment to be honest. You know- almost like any other episode on tv. Remind me that i have banned myself from watching that show. It's a definite bad influence.
Anyhoo, i only got to see the last segment of another movie- Superbad. I'm not sure about the rest of it was like (probably crude, and involving myriad references to their dicks) but...well the bit i viewed was....hmm. how to say this. Part of me wanted to recoil, part of me wanted to go aww, part of me wanted to laugh out loud. Part of me was touched. See, Jonah, this guy, was sleeping over at his friends house. They were camped out on his bedroom floor, and it was late at night. (isn't it strange how some things you would never say in the daytime emerge in the wee hours?) well. here's the quotes. So sweet and awkward at the same time.

Seth: "I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it. I Just, I lo-- I love you."
Evan: "I'm not embarrassed."
Seth: "I love you."
Evan: "I love you. It's li-- Why don't we say that every day? Why can't we say it more often?" Seth: "I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream: 'I love my best friend, Evan.'

AHHAAA awwww...ewwww....AHAHAHAH.....awwww.....ewwwww....aww.

man, i am peeved. I got mum to listen (forced her to listen) to my fave song of the moment, Counting Crows 'recovering the satellites'. Which she did. *i observed no foottapping. Not even a single tap* When it ended, she said one thing .
"That was..interesting."
INTERESTING?
INTERESTING?
and she said it as though she was trying to make me feel better.

People- here's a piece of advice. Insult me all you want...(well. Preferably not). However, if you value your life, never, EVER, slag off Adam Duritz or Counting Crows. Cause, fuck, i just love 'em.

A couple of days ago, i made a decision. Kate will go for a jog. [yes, i know, my head nearly exploded, the thought was so foreign. At first i thought i had been inhabited by a spirit of some fitness freak who had died nearby]. So, i laced my shoes, shoved on my cap, pulled up my socks (ultra cool) and headed out the door. I wanted to run, but here's the thing...i didn't want anyone to see me running. I mean, what a sight, eh? Some 'thing' slugging down the pavement with a beetroot red face and sweat sloshing from every pore. So, i waited until i was sure there were no cars around.
Kate starts to jog. She feels the wind whipping her hair back.
"hey!" she thinks to herself. "i'm actually doing this! this don't feel too bad! I'm moving! I'm going! I am the worlds fastest person! I am invinsible! Watch out Philipa, cause i might just outdo your world record!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!"
And then i passed the 5m mark. *strangled wheeze*
"i can't do this. Who are you kidding, Kate? What were you thinking? Are you insane? Or worse...do you really think that you are *cool* enough to do this sort of thing?"
i mean, have you realised? You always see the buff, toned, muscled guys, and the lean, ultra pretty girls going for a light canter down the sidewalk. So, realising that i was in danger of attracting attention, i stopped. And walked.

Another point of my craziness- i went for a walk today, in the 40 degree heat. sooooo boiling. ah well, i figured i should get out of the house for at least half an hour. I only encountered one other person crazy enough to venture out of their houses away from their blessed airconditioners. When i saw him i immediately thought of you, Sammie. HAH! He was running without his top on, physique toned to perfection with that subtle many curve of jaw. And, yes, before you are turned off, believing that in this pretext, he is a whitey...he was asian! hehehe!! I hope i didn't insult him by smirking as he glided past.

anyhoo. i have spent enough/too much time on you dear bloggie today, so i shall say goodbye for now. *can i detect cries of protest? oh, no...right. hah. Exuberant screams of relieved joy*

another QUOTE OF THE DAY: (return of the king. This quote is so inspirational. I feel like jumping off the couch and leaping into the tv to fight saurons armies whenever i hear it)

Aragorn: "Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!"

hey mr.blog

hmm. what to do, what to do. Stand on my head? Donk my head repeatedly against a wall? Both enticing...both enticing.

I don't know what i'm going to do when i go back to...to...nope. Can't say it. (refuse to say it more like) Well, you know what i'm talking about. See, I can't bear to be without music now. When i'm parted with it, i feel somewhat empty, and i find myself thinking about it. Yeah, that's right, heh, i'll go into music withdrawal. I can't even go to sleep without it; listening to my ipod (and using up all the power) until i drift off.

Hey! Have you ever heard of a KodKod? They are a type of wild cat, and are only half the size of the average domestic feline. They live in South America in a couple of secluded sections which are thus far almost totally unexplored by man (please let it stay that way). Aren't they so adorable?? Luv em. Penguins are one of the many species that coexist with them; that's so strange! AND they NEST in TREES!! The litter is raised in the treetops! cooool.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (actual words from a sports report)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."

Happy Bday Bean

Happy Birthday Rowan Atkinson!!! (aka...Bean)

He's one funny dude. I watched Blackadder for the first time at Ellen's place and i can't believe i haven't had the sense to hire it out before or something. Hilarous!

I kind of feel sorry for him; i mean, he's always going to have this label attached to him, won't he? As the endearingly idiotic man who can pull funny faces. I mean, he's a Harvard man or something isn't he? Or, at least, he went to an extremely prodigious university. I know that. But it might be hard to be taken seriously.
(atkinson is taking a lecture at a university in front of a mass of students)
ATKINSON: Through the careful examination of Kekules Theory of Organic Compounds, we are able to ascertain that carbon is tetravalent and is capable of...yes, Timothy? What is it?
TIMOTHY: hey! um, Bean, could ya do one of your faces?
ATKINSON: Timothy, that is hardly relevant to organic mol-
[a general protesting throughout the auditorium]
ALL: oh, come on Beanie! Let's see that one from episode two!
[Atkinson pauses; looking despairingly around the students, wondering if they have taken even on iota of his lecture in. Relents.]
ATKINSON: oh, all right.
[cheers as he pulls one of his famed expressions]

sigh. It's like he won't be able to be received as a person; but a make-believe character. Of course, this is all just hypothesizing. I might be way off. i don't know.

Tale of a Lizard

eeepp.

I just jumped out of my skin, and am therefore currently walking around in nought but tendons and veins and all that icky inside stuff. Why?, i hear you ask. Well, earlier on, i heard Missy barking at something under the tv cabinet. I thought she lost a ball under there, (and i was listening to a good song, so i personally couldn't be stuffed getting it for her...hmm. Option 1: be a good owner. Option 2: Be a meanie owner who should be reported to the RSPCA. I choose option 2). I quickly forgot about it in all those "sugar we're going down honey's" and "one day we're going to get so high's" etc...But when i went out to the tv room, Missy was still hanging around that place and was looking disconcerted. There was something behind the chair in the corner. I stepped cautiously over and peered round.
AAARGHHHHHHH!!! A lizard!! No, not a wee likkle lizard that is the size of your forefinger. I'm talking about a Blue Tongue Lizard!! HUGE. At first i thought it was dead, then it cocked it's head to one side and turned its glassy eye to stare piercingly into my own.
Kate: 'oh jeez'.
The cats were starting to get curious and i was afraid curiosity was going to kill the kitties, so i moved them out to the other room and took doggie outside.
PHew. Now what? well, now, is still...now. I have done nothing. I thought i'd just leave it there...something for the parents to sort out when they come back from the city.

When i was in Tasmania, we were invited to my uncles party. His birthday was actually some weeks before we arrived, but he postponed the occasion especially for us. Sweet, but i'd rather he hadn't. It was at his workplace; a company called "Red Jelly". It's a very modern building...outside they have a street sign pinned up against the wall with "Red Jelly Lane" on it.
Inside, the cousins were blowing up balloons and joking around in a small glass room; almost all of them were guys. Man, they're awesome. Really, they are. I felt like i was intruding. The connections they share seems so easy and flowing; i was just introducing an awkward presence into the room. I sat down, cause there was nothing else to do, and proceeded to not embarass myself too much by helping blow up balloons (which is pretty impossible for me, cause i go so red and my cheeks bulge whenever i try, and end up panting when i can't get the stupid elastic to expand). Every time i moved, spoke, walked, looked up, it was hard. I was completely lost. How do i act? How do these cousin2cousin relationships work? That night, i went to downstairs to the bathroom 4 times in 4 hours...not because i'd had too much softdrink, but because i just had to get out. I stared in the mirror, my reflection looking hopelessly back at me.
"ah, jeez Kate. Why can't you do this? What is wrong with you?"
But that wasn't the worst moment. See, with me not talking that much and all, i am certain the impression i gave was that i thought, (just cause i came from perth) that i was so much 'higher' than them. That couldn't be further from the truth. There was a time when i was alone with the oldest cousin, Sam, (Sam? that guy who teased his younger brother and entertained me and Amy when we were little? And now has stubble?) and the other cousins were off to get some parts to this game. It was a this shooting game, were there were mini guns and you had to try and hit the moving ducks. The silence between us was deafening, and in a desperate attempt i said, trying to make a stab at humour
"so is this what you do in your spare time?"
He emitted a half laugh. "Yeah, that's right. Us hicks." And then he gave me this look, and i just wanted to die, right there, right then. I felt so bad. I just wanted to run so i could get out of these beautiful people's hair and lives.
A couple of days before, my Aunty showed me this picture from a long time ago, and said i looked so elegant. Elegant? ME? What you interpret as elegance is that little thing that comes out when i have no fuckin idea how to act. Called snobbishness. God, Kate. Back off already.

I'm sorry. I just had to get that off my chest. It has been bugging me ever since i got back.

Parents have just got back. Dad's carrying it outside. Mum has just emitted a loud scream. And going "oh yuk!!" I think the lizard has just spewed or something. Hmm. No, wait, i asked dad. It crapped. Nice. I think i'll stay in here for a while.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (look what you've done--Jet)

"Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone"

DAMN YOU SALAZARRRRRR

damn you sam.

DAMN YOU SALAZAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[a roar of anguish rips through the morning, startling the milkman, who drops his bottles, which CRASH to the floor, which cause all the cats from the neighbourhood to flock to the area; so many, in fact, that they overwhelm the poor milkman, who dies from a cat tail in his throat. But the worst thing about it is, THE PEOPLE OF THE HOUSEHOLD DON'T GET THEIR MILK. And so they grow old and get osteoperosis. And die. ]

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (My Chemical Romance--house of wolves)

Well, I know a thing about contrition,
Because I got enough to spare.
And I'll be granting your permission,
'Cause you haven't got a prayer.
Well I said hey, hey hallelujah,
I'ma come on sing the praise.
And let the spirit come on through ya,
We got innocence for days!

Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell,
Everybody burn the house right down.
And say,What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.

Caution: dribble in its purest form

"i'm not growing up, I'm just burning out." = a green day quote. How relevant.

Oh dear. Now I'm listening to some poignant songs. "watch over me, Bernard Fanning; miss you, Blink 182." Making me look back through that portal of time. I miss being seven. I miss childhood. Which is almost laugh-derisively-out-loud because a lot of people would say i'm still IN frickin childhood...and i'm just squandering the years away.
But it's different to how it was.
I hate Brisbane.

That is one of my biggest fears, going back there. If i was offered 2 million dollars, just to see the people i used to know over there, my response would be exactly the same... "over my dead body."
I don't think about it much anymore. I suppose that's out of 3 years of trying to block it out of my mind. It's like there's this big blackhole in my memory and so it jumps from a tearful Kate preparing for take-off on the plane; a small, narcistic, arrogant, but still ok and not yet fucked-up kid...and then i'm here, at mlc...some person who is almost unrecognisable- still vain, still arrogant, but in a different way. I miss the years before, but more so, the person.

Kate wrenches herself from her nostolgia. I apologise. Stupid Kate. Please ignore her.

I went swimming in the sea today, for the first time in about a year. Isn't it strange, how people just stand there in the water? Unmoving except for the subtle body sway as the waves rock them like babies. Just a line of people, literally hundreds of people, congressing down the line of where the ocean sucks on the sand, no more than 2 feet in the blue. J ust standing; the odd one or two floating on their backs. I don't understand. I always feel so self-conscious at the beach. I tell myself it's stupid, that to stop being a damn introvert; of course people aren't looking at you, and if they do, well, you're just one sight among millions. No one's going to base their lifes study around "the time i saw Kate Prendergast and felt __". But still, there's just so many PEOPLE. It's like, don't you people have anything better to do? I mean, what are you all doing at the beach? Oh? oh. I see your point. No, no, the beach probably is the best option on a sweltering day like this. right.

I saw Amy's new boyfriend for the first time today. Yes, she's got a new one. His name is Josh. He is SUCH a suck-up to the parents. Seriously. He may as well be our butler. Oh, and just to throw it in there, Amy plans to dump him soon, as she confided to me. "not funny enough. Too serious." Sister likes the chiselled, buff and daredevil dudes. We are so different. Those people...they don't do anything for me. (sorry sam). It's people like, people like...
[the audience waits in tension for an insight into this topic Kate has never really personally elaborated on. And no, despite what i'm sure you all believe, i am not gay]
people like... (deleted)

QUOTES OF THE DAY:

Sam: I wonder if we'll ever be put into songs or tales.
Frodo: [turns around] What?
Sam: I wonder if people will ever say, 'Let's hear about Frodo and the Ring.' And they'll say 'Yes, that's one of my favorite stories. Frodo was really courageous, wasn't he, Dad?' 'Yes, my boy, the most famousest of hobbits. And that's saying a lot.'
Frodo: [continue walking] You've left out one of the chief characters - Samwise the Brave. I want to hear more about Sam. [stops and turns to Sam]
Frodo: Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam.
Sam: Now Mr. Frodo, you shouldn't make fun; I was being serious.
Frodo: So was I. [they continue to walk]
Sam: Samwise the Brave...

Sam: (to Frodo) I made a promise...Gandalf said "Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee," and I don't mean to. I don't mean to.

Frodo: [after destroying the Ring] I can see the Shire. The Brandywine River. Bag End. The Lights in the Party Tree.
Sam: Rosie Cotton dancing. She had ribbons in her hair. If ever I were to marry someone, it would have been her. It would have been her. [sits down and begins to cry]
Frodo: [leans over and hugs him] I'm glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things.

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

yeah, yeah. shutup.

Community Service Phobia

Argh!

Kate trembles.

i just got 2 calls back from community service people; involving the shop assistant position and the scrabble-player desperado. Hah! The latter thought i was in uni! She sounded a bit put off when i said i was only almost 16. pfft.

perhaps i shouldn't have applied to so many different organizations. I have a feeling i shall have to turn some down (shouldn't it be the other way round?) oh well. At least the volunteer work will force me to actually do something instead of watching one day trail after the other.

Why do i always sound so girlish and incompetant on the phone? Even as i speak, i repress a shudder to how like Dolores Umbridge I sound. Ehhhhh.

I don't know when i am to start work...they are going to ring me back. I'm scared that I'm going to muck up. At least they can't fire me or reduce my pay. HAH.

QUOTES OF THE DAY:

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?--Jane Wagner

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. --Douglas Adams

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.---Bert Leston Taylor

Beauty in the Blue

The night is so beautiful tonight. The sky is a subtle wash of pink melding flawlessly into blue. Embellishments of wispy cloud border the horizon. If only Hitler just looked up at the sky every once in a while; peering up at the endless expanse can make anyone feel so at peace with everything. Yes, i realise the world is diseased with greed and corruption and injustice; that people are dying as i blink in the scene; but the simple pleasure of nature seem to render all the world's past and current scars inevitable seams in time's steady lope forward.

Why do humans look up at the sky when they seek help, or an answer? Does the neverending nothing hold something no one knows? I'm not sure if it's the perception of a other-wordly presence- because i do it. Quite a bit.

I don't know why exactly, but i just have this feeling that if i was to somehow be 'delivered' into God's arms, i would be right up there with his most intensive worshippers. You know, daily praising his holy nostril and all. It may seem a strange thought to reader/s cause i'm just about the most atheistic person you are likely to come across. But, see, whenever i entertain the possibility- it just slips like eggs on a non-stick fry pan. I like to base my beliefs on facts, and a book that's a couple of centuries old doesn't really change my train-tracks.
I read this book recently, called "The Interpretation of Murder." It was based on the great psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud- possibly the deepest unbeliever. There was a section that summed up my feelings pretty nicely. Here it is.

"Every neurosis is a religion to its owner, and religion is the universal neurosis of mankind. This much is beyond doubt: the characteristics we attribute to God reflect the fears and wishes we first fell as infants and then as small children."

In saying this, please, i sincerely do not mean to offend anyone. If he is real, well i'll save God the effort and throw myself headfirst into hell. Chuch is a way you go about your belief; i'm just expressing mine. My deviant 'faith' in being unfaithful.

Sometimes, I've tried it out. Asking him for a favour. In fact, in desperate times, i do it quite a lot, though i'm uncertain if that's just classed as blasphemy. It's never really worked though- not for me. Here's something- i'll pray tonight. If my wish comes true, then I will not rule the possibility out completely. Yo! hear that God? Your chance for potential perusion has arrived! And i am hoping it will come true. God knows i am.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (recovering the satellites [counting crows song from my xmas prezzie])

"So whyd you come home to this faithless town
Where we make a lifetime commitment
To recovering the satellites
And all anybody really wants to know is...
When are you gonna come down
She sees shooting stars and comet tails
Shes got heaven in her eyes
She says I dont need to be an angel
But Im nothing if Im not this high
But we only stay in orbit
For a moment of time
And then youre everybodys satellite
I wish that you were mine"

i think that's so sweet. 'i wish that you were mine'.