Tale of a Lizard

eeepp.

I just jumped out of my skin, and am therefore currently walking around in nought but tendons and veins and all that icky inside stuff. Why?, i hear you ask. Well, earlier on, i heard Missy barking at something under the tv cabinet. I thought she lost a ball under there, (and i was listening to a good song, so i personally couldn't be stuffed getting it for her...hmm. Option 1: be a good owner. Option 2: Be a meanie owner who should be reported to the RSPCA. I choose option 2). I quickly forgot about it in all those "sugar we're going down honey's" and "one day we're going to get so high's" etc...But when i went out to the tv room, Missy was still hanging around that place and was looking disconcerted. There was something behind the chair in the corner. I stepped cautiously over and peered round.
AAARGHHHHHHH!!! A lizard!! No, not a wee likkle lizard that is the size of your forefinger. I'm talking about a Blue Tongue Lizard!! HUGE. At first i thought it was dead, then it cocked it's head to one side and turned its glassy eye to stare piercingly into my own.
Kate: 'oh jeez'.
The cats were starting to get curious and i was afraid curiosity was going to kill the kitties, so i moved them out to the other room and took doggie outside.
PHew. Now what? well, now, is still...now. I have done nothing. I thought i'd just leave it there...something for the parents to sort out when they come back from the city.

When i was in Tasmania, we were invited to my uncles party. His birthday was actually some weeks before we arrived, but he postponed the occasion especially for us. Sweet, but i'd rather he hadn't. It was at his workplace; a company called "Red Jelly". It's a very modern building...outside they have a street sign pinned up against the wall with "Red Jelly Lane" on it.
Inside, the cousins were blowing up balloons and joking around in a small glass room; almost all of them were guys. Man, they're awesome. Really, they are. I felt like i was intruding. The connections they share seems so easy and flowing; i was just introducing an awkward presence into the room. I sat down, cause there was nothing else to do, and proceeded to not embarass myself too much by helping blow up balloons (which is pretty impossible for me, cause i go so red and my cheeks bulge whenever i try, and end up panting when i can't get the stupid elastic to expand). Every time i moved, spoke, walked, looked up, it was hard. I was completely lost. How do i act? How do these cousin2cousin relationships work? That night, i went to downstairs to the bathroom 4 times in 4 hours...not because i'd had too much softdrink, but because i just had to get out. I stared in the mirror, my reflection looking hopelessly back at me.
"ah, jeez Kate. Why can't you do this? What is wrong with you?"
But that wasn't the worst moment. See, with me not talking that much and all, i am certain the impression i gave was that i thought, (just cause i came from perth) that i was so much 'higher' than them. That couldn't be further from the truth. There was a time when i was alone with the oldest cousin, Sam, (Sam? that guy who teased his younger brother and entertained me and Amy when we were little? And now has stubble?) and the other cousins were off to get some parts to this game. It was a this shooting game, were there were mini guns and you had to try and hit the moving ducks. The silence between us was deafening, and in a desperate attempt i said, trying to make a stab at humour
"so is this what you do in your spare time?"
He emitted a half laugh. "Yeah, that's right. Us hicks." And then he gave me this look, and i just wanted to die, right there, right then. I felt so bad. I just wanted to run so i could get out of these beautiful people's hair and lives.
A couple of days before, my Aunty showed me this picture from a long time ago, and said i looked so elegant. Elegant? ME? What you interpret as elegance is that little thing that comes out when i have no fuckin idea how to act. Called snobbishness. God, Kate. Back off already.

I'm sorry. I just had to get that off my chest. It has been bugging me ever since i got back.

Parents have just got back. Dad's carrying it outside. Mum has just emitted a loud scream. And going "oh yuk!!" I think the lizard has just spewed or something. Hmm. No, wait, i asked dad. It crapped. Nice. I think i'll stay in here for a while.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: (look what you've done--Jet)

"Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone"